Breaking the Mold

My daughter, who is on school vacation this week, and I, who am on permanent vacation until I find another job, were given the unenviable task of cleaning out some of the many shelves in our pantry (I think after a couple of hours, she'd rather be back in school). We spent probably a total of six hours pulling stuff down, checking it out, and either putting it back or tossing it.

Some of the "stuff" was easy - cans with bulging ends and once-powdered things that had turned into cement-like solids. There was even a bottle of bleu cheese dressing, the contents of which had turned totally brown (kind of like chameleons do except they do it quickly - this bottle took many years to try to blend in).

The problem we had came with the products that we didn't know what the shelf life was; I mean, I know salt doesn't go bad (even if it took a phone call to confirm it), but things like canned vegetables without bulging ends; what about those?

I applaud the companies who put things like: Best Until June 14, 1995 (we had a couple of those; I mean, if it were June 15th in 1995, I'd probably still use it - heck June 15th in 2008 would give me pause, but...). They are easy to figure out (I tried to tell my daughter they'd only been there 12-1/2 years, but she wouldn't buy my argument - she's a slave driver, she is). Other companies, however, put things like C6X12 P4. I couldn't just arbitrarily toss the product - I could still read the label, so I called a few of the companies to see if they sold a decoder ring or special chart so I could figure out what the letters and numbers meant. After a couple such calls, I felt like a real idiot! I didn't even know the first letter often stands for the month - A for January, B for February, and so forth except for September which is X (I suppose an 'I' might be mistaken for a '1' even if it were in the first position). The number after the letter could stand for the year - 3 is 2003 (but in our case, it could have been 1993) and so on.

So, what's my point? Why can't "they" just put ExpOCT2003 or MFGJAN2009? Really! Is that too easy or what? Well, why can't "they"? If I do run for office again, that is one of the things I will push for - clear labeling of expiration dates. I mean, that ought to get me some votes... well, oughtn't it?

Upping the Ante

Okay, I've been plugging along here offering what I believe to be positive reading opportunities for the reading public, but as I have received few comments, I don't know how many readers I actually have or even how my offerings are accepted.

Therefore, I have decided to up the ante. I am taking steps to increase readership, the results of which will be overtly evident when they happen (it might be days or weeks). Regular readers will know when something different and special happens ("Like what, Berman? Quality writing?" *lol*).

What I am is doing is contacting a variety of prominent people whom I respect and admire for one reason or another and am asking them to be a one-time guest blogger; I will ask them to offer a "What's on your mind?" or a "What's Important to You?" entry - an almost-anything-goes piece. The only requirements are around 300 words (flexible) and family-appropriate. We'll see what happens...

Later.

To add to my life experiences, I have just been appointed as a Bail Commissioner for my district, which encompasses some thirteen towns around me. That means I can be called to any of those police stations and, as a neutral third party, set bail for people who have been arrested and charged with a crime. There appears to be a bit of a learning curve, but it really doesn't look too difficult. I expect like most other things that once I have done a couple, it will become relatively routine.

Following an almost-two-hour instructional introduction, I was able to observe an actual occurrence of what I will be doing. A young man charged with two felony drug crimes had been brought into the courthouse , and my trainer did the bail-setting process. It was helpful to first learn about the procedure and then actually see it happen.

The only down side I see to being a Bail Commissioner is that calls will come in after normal business hours, but it comes with the territory; during regular hours, people are taken right to the courthouse. There are some twelve other bail commissioners in the district, and I was told that if I couldn't make it in, I couldn't make it in; someone else would be called. My guess is that officials work down the list calling those first who are closest.

Half-kiddingly, I told my trainer that being a Bail Commissioner is a good way to keep track of my former students... said half-kiddingly.

Anyhow, that's what's new. I will keep you posted if any interesting cases come along.

Later.

UPDATE (11/21): I had my first two calls today. I was out for the first, but I made it to the second. We were just finishing dinner with another couple when the police dispatch called with someone who needed to be bailed. It was a young man who was charged with possession of and transporting some marijuana. I left the house at 7:45 pm and was back in an hour. I am now a veteran Bail Commissioner!

Hello, Kitty

(Shhh, don't tell the cats in my house, but I have never really been a cat person. Therefore, I find it strange that I am writing this. And whatever you do, don't call the house and read this entry to them; don't even fax it to them; they don't need to know. Thanks.)

Okay, kittens are cute; I admit it. I suspect that kitten look is what nature gave them so people would take them and forget that they grow into cats. Anyhow, not long ago, four kittens magically showed up in the horse barn (it used to be a garage, but now there's barely room to even squeeze in my motorcycle; I'm not sure why I even mentioned that). My wife fed and watered them, they grew, and now they are making their way out in the local world. That was then.

Now, four more kittens showed up, but this time their parents disappeared into the night (maybe it was the day; I wasn't watching). I thought of putting them on Maury to help find who the kitty daddy, but that didn't seem practical. Again, my wife fed and watered them, but the nights are getting downright cold, and those three little faces are heartbreaking as they gather to face the cold and lonely, and the deep, dark nights together.

The Ever-lovely Miss Kim was late from work last night, so the Ever-effervescent Miss Jessica and I had to feed them. When the door to the barn opened, all three came scampering out. I put their bowls down and watched them eat. The barn was and is their entire world at this point. They don't have a Mom or Dad to show them how to hunt or take care of themselves. Without those skills, the world would be a tough place (with those skills, the world is still a tough place). They need people to take care of them, so we decided to take them to the humane society (HS), which I trust will live up to its name and give the little guys a chance.

As today is a holiday, I called the HS, and yes, it's open.... But, apparently I live in he wrong town to use them. If I showed up, they'd check my papers and send me away. Each town contracts with different shelters around the state, and this HS wasn't "mine" (ya gotta love bureaucracy and The Rules). So, I called my town's police dept., but they weren't any help. They didn't know of any local shelters. I called the bigger town nearby (2007 population - 3,688). They didn't have any information either; they knew of no contracted facilities. Tomorrow (Wednesday), I will call the animal hospital (closed today); if anyone should know they should.

The point of all of this? There are a few. First, when ads say to spay or neuter your pets, you should; that's a good thing. Next, Nature is. I am tempted to call her cruel, but Nature just is. What happens out there, the births and deaths, is all part of Nature. When Man is introduced with caring, concerned people, Nature becomes cruel by Man's definition. I didn't want to go out and see the kittens because I knew what would happen; when I went out last night, I felt overwhelming sorrow looking at their innocent little faces. They didn't ask to be born, and their very futures rested in our hands (in another scenario in another place, they'd drowned or shot). They see us as a food source, and they trust us. I want them to find someone to love and care for them (I usually know all I need to about people by how they view and treat animals). And lastly, these kittens got me to thinking about all the babies being born into the world....

(Oh, and by the way, if you read carefully early on, you would have noticed I first mentioned four kittens and then switched to three - my wife brought one into the house - he was the lucky one.)

Two Outta Three Ain't Bad!

Winston Churchill once said, "Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." I am feeling pretty darn successful these days.

First, as some of you know, I just found out that a position I was hoping for didn't come through; someone else was hired. The offering closed on August 29th. It was today, November 8th, that I was notified. The job was for a writer/editor. I thought it and I were a great match, but it really doesn't matter what I think; if it were up to me, I would have been hired, but it wasn't, so I wasn't. I am slightly disappointed, but I am not crushed. If it was meant to be, it would have been.

(Maybe I should have applied to help with Human Resources. I mean, 72 days to make a decision and get back to someone? I betcha I could interview people and decide on a candidate in a fraction of that time. The letter did encourage me to apply for other positions that I am qualified for. Let's see, the way I figure it, I could apply for five jobs, and a potentially productive year would be gone.... I don't think so. Thanks, but no thanks).

Combining that latest rejection with my recent loss in the political arena, that's two in a row, but that's okay. There are plenty of jobs out there... aren't there? I mean, aren't we riding the crest of prosperity? I mean, based on Congressional accounting rules, at the end of his presidency Clinton reported a surplus of $559 billion. The past eight years and the Republicans' penchant for fiscal conservatism and smaller government must have kept the surplus and added to it, so I am looking at the world through Rose-Garden-colored glasses. Something will come along... soon, I am sure. I will keep you posted.

So, those are my two out of three! What's number three? I don't know yet, but I will let you know when it happens; I feel good about it, whatever it will be.

Later.

Election Results

The people have spoken. Although I don't have official results yet, my campaign as a write-in candidate for U.S. Senator from New Hampshire wasn't as successful as I had hoped. I do know there are at least three-hundred thousand disappointed voters (actually they are the ones who voted for John Sununu and Ken Blevins).

My goal was to see if through emails and press releases I could even make a blip on the radar. The Secretary of State's office hasn't listed write-ins, and I don't know if it will. I do know I did receive at least one vote - any more than that I consider a success. In theory, if I am to believe those I spoke with, I should have a few more.

All of that said, I am excited by the overall national election results. Although I was too young to vote back then, I suspect I still had the same feeling after JFK's election. There was hope in the air; there was enthusiasm. These days, there is the same feeling, but as the old saying goes, no matter who is elected, the Government still gets in.

Lots more to say, but I have to go now. This election was true history in the making. Time will tell what will happen, but this was one election I was glad to have lived through and participate in. I do hope and pray for the best.

Later.

Vote!

Notice the button above is in the center; that's so people won't think I am subliminally suggesting one side or the other. Also, I chose a plain font for the same reason. Unfortunately, 'plain' rhymes with McCain, so I may have a problem there. Also, perhaps you have received the email in which all the words are jumbled (first and last letters must be the same). Most people are able to read the entire message with little effort. Therefore, a second problem is that the letters in 'plain' also can easily be seen as a plug for Palin. I'll take my chances.

Humorist Kin Hubbard once wrote: "We'd all like t' vote fer th' best man, but he's never a candidate." That seems to have been the case for several elections now. In the last election, for example, Kerry got my vote, but I didn't vote for him. I voted against Bush. Looking at the economy, etc., I wish more people had, but I am not sure it matters. I would give almost anything to see what the country (and world) would look like today if Kerry had won. His victory may have a huge difference but maybe not. An anonymous quote says, "No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in." That is quite telling.

Anyhow, this election is one more in which neither candidate "flips my switch" as again the Government will get in. Anyhow, I am writing this for any undecided readers. The last survey I saw indicated some 94 percent of voters have made up their minds. If you ask how anyone can still be undecided, I suspect those people are still wondering if they should even vote or if they should vote for a Libertarian or Green or Socialist candidate. There are six major party candidates and many, many others. I started to count all candidates and got up to 47 just getting through the B's. When one votes for anyone other than a mainstream, major party candidate, either s/he is voting strongly-held conviction, making a comment on what the two major parties is offering us, or perhaps "wasting a vote."

All of that said, I am going to stay mainstream and take a chance on Obama. There are two words that make him the only choice in my mind: President Palin. Being objective, I believe any thinking person would understand that a Jane Six-Pack doesn't belong in the highest office of the land and that she is not ready in any way, shape, or form. I believe John McCain is a good man, but I also believe his judgment lapsed when he picked Palin! There is a posted one in seven chance that John McCain will not make it through his first term. That would place her in the Presidency. You betcha it would, and that's absolutely unacceptable to me. I don't want a folksy, cutesy empty suit as the leader of the free world. She is not ready. Period.

From emails I receive, there are too many people out there who feel (1) If the candidate's a Republican, that's good enough for me, or (2) He's black - that's all I need to know. My problem has been that neither candidate represents fully what I believe is important. Two cases in point: (1) I do support the Second Amendment (Republican), but I also believe that while abortion as birth control is absolutely unconscionable, I do ultimately believe it should be a woman's choice (Democrat). What's a voter to do. Looking at more issues, I see I will save $1,000 under Obama's plan and zero under McCain's. The ads all lie! One needs to look at the facts (e.g. www.factcheck.org). I did, which is why I will give Obama a chance.

Under our last few "Conservative" presidents (Reagan [$155 Billion deficit], Bush 1 [$290 Billion deficit], and Bush 2 [$500 Billion-ish] ), our deficit blossomed! Tax-and-spend Liberal Democrat Clinton left office with a $236 Billion surplus, which Bush 2 has squandered away. The facts are there, so that's another plus on Obama's side.

I have gone on long enough. While not a hearty endorsement, I encourage you to give Obama a chance. I will.

Probitas

It all comes down to one saying. From George Bernard Shaw: "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." I would love to consider myself a Libertarian and push for a Libertarian philosophy, but in reality, I can't see most people being responsible enough to make the ideas work.

Back when I started teaching, the principal's philosophy was Freedom with Responsibility. It sounds so easy, but as we have seen through they years, it ain't gonna happen. People want their freedom, but they aren't responsible enough to handle it.

I am bothered by the news of late whether crime or economics or politics, our society is on the edge of out-of-control - we're living in a Lord of the Flies world. For our society to work, all people need to do is be responsible - whether a "high-powered" CEO or a kid in the inner city. People are promoting and living their own agendas and the rest of 'em be damned. Whether power, fun, freedom, survival, or belonging (from Wm. Glasser), chances are good one or more of the aforementioned concepts motivate most people to be who they are and do what they do.

JFK had it right: "Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country."

An Incomplete Victory

To the right is a photo of "Winged Victory of Samothrace." The sculpture is 11 feet tall and, coincidentally, was found on the island of Samothrace; sculpted around 190 BC, it was discovered in 1863. It is currently on display in the Louvre in Paris and represents the Greek goddess Nike, but I suspect the real goddess had a head and arms.
Anyhow, perhaps the sculpture is a good symbol for my senatorial campaign. While the election is still a few weeks off, I already feel a small but incomplete sense of victory. At a local diner and at the local supermarket, someone has stopped me and said, "I hear you're running for office." That suggests to me that some word of my candidacy has gotten out.
I doubt any papers have run the press releases I sent out; why should they? Think about it - The System has given us two opposing mainstream candidates who represent, well, The System. They have raised and will spend millions of dollars for a job that pays $169,300! I, meanwhile, am spending nothing but some time. Just suppose for a moment that the papers did run my press releases, and suppose the papers' reporters and radio and TV personalities picked up on them and called me and asked questions that I answered "right" enough. And suppose as a Washington outsider and independent thinker I appealed to enough people who ended up electing me, and I, as one of the ordinary people, ended up making a real difference. As a person who owes nothing to anyone, I can do that; real "politicians" can't.
As we get closer to the election, I will send out another press release or two; I am doing my part. If I can just get the papers to do theirs....

p.s. To see my press releases and some positions, go to www.bermansbits.com and click on Politics.

Press Release

The image to the left is of the first known politician; I found it online and used it without permission (if you are the owner, may I use it?). Anyhow, it speaks for itself.

That said, I have decided that because I am so upset over today's passage of the sell out, oops, I mean bailout, I am declaring my candidacy for United States Senator from New Hampshire. I know I have less of a chance than Pat Paulson (at least people knew him from TV). Consider the following from www.paulson.com:

"JAN-22-DETROIT, MI - Even deceased, presidential candidate Pat Paulsen managed to garner more votes than Democratic candidate Kucinich in several precincts of Michigan’s January 15th primary.

Paulsen’s two-week Michigan effort to get out the vote on a Democratic ballot that featured Hillary Clinton, Dennis Kucinich, Mike Gravel, Christopher Dodd and the ultimate second-place finisher, UNCOMMITED, turned out to be a treasure trove of votes for Pat Paulsen.

In spite of the warnings posted by bureaucratic clerks that write-in votes would not be counted in the early Michigan Primary, hundreds of voters, both Democratic and Republican, exercised their conscience and their constitutional right to choose the next president of the United States by writing in Pat Paulsen on Tuesday, January 15, 2008."

He got "hundreds of votes." I'll be happy with dozens.

Here is the Press Release I will be sending out this coming week:

Rumney Man is None of the Above

(RUMNEY) “This is what happens when my wife leaves me home alone,” winks Dave Berman, a retired high school English teacher who lives in Rumney, NH. “I followed the progress of The Bailout from its original three pages up to the 451-page version that was finally approved, and I was outraged! I knew I had to do something! We average citizens have been shafted enough!”

With that, Berman has tossed his cap into the political arena as a last-minute, None-of-the-Above write-in candidate for New Hampshire’s United States Senator opening (either party). “This is my campaign,” he says about this interview. “I owe nothing to anyone, and that’s the way it should be. If one person gave me $100 to help my efforts, I would owe that person. That’s what Washington is all about.”

He is hoping a grass-roots, neighbor-telling-neighbor movement will get his name out and result in at least several votes which will say nothing other than that people are fed up with Washington’s fat-cat business-as-usual attitude. Berman says that politics is a rich person’s world. “I just read a report that showed the wealthiest Congress people have worth in the tens of millions of dollars. It’s time we have someone who really understands what the average person is going through these days. As of July, Senator Sununu was sitting on over six million dollars of campaign funds; former Governor Jeanne Shaheen had just under four million dollars. Berman has his computer, his desk, and his website (for more details and to view his main positions, visit www.bermansbits.com – click on Politics), all of which cost considerably less than $6 million. “If newspapers will publish this release, it’s a start. The people who are as disgusted with the Washington insiders as I am will do the rest.”

The self-described Liberal-Conservative, Conservative -Liberal candidate has no experience with politics but feels he has to do something. “I want to give the average person another choice. In some ways, I am the Sarah Palin of New Hampshire, but she knows more about politics than I do (and is better looking).” When word came that the bailout (“Sell out,” says Berman) passed the House, he was furious. He says a newspaper editorial lead paragraph sums it up: “The American people responded to the gigantic "trust us" bailout plan by screaming, "Hell, no!" The people demanded more accountability and less risk for their tax money. But instead, we got "sweeteners" to make the same plan more palatable to hold-out House and Senate members. This is exactly why the people distrust Washington” (Union Leader 10/3/08).

Berman adds, “If you send me to Washington, I won’t forget you. The only connection I have to big oil is through the hose that fills my car. Seriously, remember my name, and write me in. Your vote for me will say nothing more than ‘I agree – enough is enough! Throw ‘em out!’”

-30-

If you live in New Hampshire, I ask for your write-in vote Can I really be worse than the other choices? Contact me at: senatorberman@gmail.com for details or go to www.bermansbits.com and click Politics for more information.

If elected, I will, um, well, I don't really know what I'd do except the best I can for the hard-working, decent people of New Hampshire. Thank you.

Politics - FEH!

Americans as consumers need to wean ourselves off our voracious appetite... for credit. Read on.

There are still those people who don't understand why many "politicians" (meant in the most extreme pejorative sense) are loathed by so many. The past several weeks are a particularly good example.

I have tried to follow the "bailout" (even though the media have recently stopped using the word), and while I have only heard one person describe it in possibly acceptable terms (Senator Judd Gregg), I really don't understand it other than many did wrong and will be rewarded, while the public who is hurt will be hurt more by the costs. Yeah, it's complicated, but I don't feel I can accept the government's word that this expensive (talk about understatement) "fix" is all for the best - time will tell. Instead of throwing more money at a problem (the American way), I'd be looking at what happened, who did what and why, and how can we prevent this from ever happening again!

Anyhow, the original bailout was three pages long. Then the House politicians discussed and "negotiated," and the draft was suddenly 42 pages long. Not yet satisfied, nearly a week of ongoing talks between Treasury Secretary Paulson and key lawmakers followed, and the new working version was now up to 102 pages. It was voted down, because the people spoke... wrote letters, emailed, and called.

Then the Senate decided to get in on the action (here's the good part): Once the Senate was done adding "sweeteners" today to "entice" reluctant House Republicans to change their minds and vote for the bailout, the bill heading for discussion and probably passage tonight (I am guessing) had grown to 451 pages (a most appropriate number if you are into allusions [think Bradbury]) ! I would love to know what else ended up in it! Government pork is not my meat of choice. I believe it was Ronald Reagan who described the government as being like an infant with an insatiable appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. That about sums it up as we see how eagerly some are trying their darnedest to spend us into bankruptcy! I predict the bailout will pass, and I only hope for the best but expect the worst.

I need to do more than call and email my representatives, which I have done. I have decided to offer voters a choice of someone else (a sort of None of the Above); someone who is of the people and for the people! I am not ready to write our country off. So, I will soon be promoting myself as a write-in candidate for the position of United States Senator from New Hampshire. If you are reading this, you are among the first to know as I am still in the planning stages. There will be more soon, but I figure why not? I have nothing to lose and a lot to gain. Putney Swope did it, so can I. I would enjoy Being There. If Chauncey Gardiner can do it, so can I! In the movie Chauncey noted, "In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again." I fully agree!

REPOST FROM 2008 (APPROPRIATE TODAY)!

(This may not work because I am sick and should be up in bed, but I did feel it necessary to at least get something posted.) An employee where I used to teach recently filed a complaint about John Irving's Hotel New Hampshire. She didn't think it was appropriate to read, so instead of returning it and saying something to the librarian, she initiated The Book Challenge Procedure to try to remove the book from the library. Sad!

This current week through October 4th is Banned Books Week. The concept of banning books is a big No-no in my world! Interestingly, while I am against censorship, there are things I believe should be censored - go figure.

Here's my issue - if a student's parent don't want him or her reading a book, fine, but don't you dare tell the rest of the class what they can or can't read or me what I can or can't teach! I checked one top 100 list of challenged books, and I taught at least 14 of them! I mean Lord of the Flies, Of Mice and Men, Flowers for Algernon, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and To Kill a Mockingbird???? What was I thinking? Maybe they were okay because no one challenged them. All it takes is one person.

The following ten quotes are to ponder. I didn't create them - I found them. If anyone asks, I will create and post a better look at censorship and find at least ten quotes I would have picked. There are a few good ones here!

(10) "We all know that books burn, yet we have the greater knowledge that books cannot be killed by fire. People die, but books never die. No man and no force can put thought in a concentration camp forever. No man and no force can take from the world the books that embody man's eternal fight against tyranny of every kind."
—Franklin D. Roosevelt

(9) "What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist."
—Salman Rushdie

(8) “Imagine books and music and movies being filtered and homogenized. Certified. Approved for consumption. People will be happy to give up most of their culture for the assurance that the tiny bit that comes through is safe and clean. White noise.”
—Chuck Palahniuk

(7) "Damn all expurgated books; the dirtiest book of all is the expurgated book."
—Walt Whitman

(6) "Every burned book or house enlightens the world; every suppressed or expunged word reverberates through the earth from side to side."
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

(5) “It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creeds into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.”
—Robert A. Heinlein

(4) “Intelligence is the capacity to receive, decode and transmit information efficiently. Stupidity is blockage of this process at any point. Bigotry, ideologies etc. block the ability to receive; robotic reality-tunnels block the ability to decode or integrate new signals; censorship blocks transmission.”
—Robert Anton Wilson

(3) “Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself. It is a hallmark of an authoritarian regime.”
—Potter Stewart, Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court

(2) "An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all."
—Oscar Wilde

(1) "There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of people running about with lit matches. Every minority, be it Baptist/Unitarian, Irish/Italian/Octogenarian/Zen Buddhist, Zionist/Seventh-day Adventist, Women's Lib/Republican, Mattachine/FourSquareGospel feels it has the will, the right, the duty to douse the kerosene, light the fuse. Every dimwit editor who sees himself as the source of all dreary blanc-mange plain porridge unleavened literature, licks his guillotine and eyes the neck of any author who dares to speak above a whisper or write above a nursery rhyme."
—Ray Bradbury

(These were found on Alternative Reel.com)

Hearing a Different Drummer...

When I was younger (waaay younger), I thought I was pushing the envelope when I wore pointed black leather slip-on shoes with heel taps, white socks, and "pegged" pants (tapered and tight with slash pockets in front (horizontal). The shirt was a standard Oxford with a loop on the back that girls used to target. Gives the standards of the time, that was pretty far out of the norm. Today, I have a small gold hoop in a pierced ear.

The United Kingdom's Daily Mail online carried a story today that caught my eye in a big way! From the paper: "As obsessions go this has to be one of the weirdest known to man - someone who would voluntarily file his teeth, split his lip and undergo extensive facial surgery - to turn himself into a 'human tiger'. Dennis Avner, 50, is descended from American Indians, and has spent 'an uncalculated amount' of money on making himself look like a big cat, after a discussion with a Native chief who inspired him to 'follow the ways of the tiger'. Avner's body modification operations have included bifurcation (splitting) of his upper lip, surgical pointing of the ears, silicone cheek and forehead implants, tooth filing, tattoos, and facial piercing - to which whiskers can be attached. Avner, from Tonopah, Nevada, likes to go by his Indian name 'Stalking Cat'. 'I am Huron and following a very old tradition have transformed myself into a tiger,' he says on his website stalkingcat.com. The tiger aficionado - naturally - enjoys climbing trees and must eat meat 'every day, just as a tiger would.' This should be 'as close to raw as possible, or at the temperature that an animal would be if it had just been killed,' he told The Sun. But Cat can't live the tiger's life 24 hours a day - he has human needs too. These he meets by working in an office - 'the only difference is I look like a cat' - or by making personal TV appearances, which have included Larry King Live, VH1's 'Totally Obsessed' and Kerrang! His latest public appearance was at the new Ripley's Believe It Or Not! museum, which opened this week in London's Piccadilly Circus. "

Every generation pushes a bit more and more - black nail polish, pierced tongues and, uh, other parts, tattoos, etc. These people, usually teenagers, were once described as trying on one face after another until they find their own. One lesson to remember and take from this small offering is from something Henry David Thoreau wrote: "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Here is a man who exemplifies the idea expressed in the quote. There is little I can add except, "March on, Stalking Cat. March on!"

I have to tell you a story from probably 15 years ago (actually, I don't have to, but I want to). I was walking through my hallway at school (actually the hallway wasn't really mine. It was where my classroom was [actually, the classroom wasn't ... never mind]) and came across a girl standing motionless at her locker looking pensive. I stopped and asked her if everything was okay. She said yes, that she was just worried about her SAT scores. I asked how she did, and she replied that she had gotten a 575 and a 625. Given the overall decline in scores, I didn't think that was so bad and told her so. I asked why she was worried. She said, "You don't understand. I took them twice; those are my total scores from each time added together." Oops.

Fast forward to the present. From Yahoo News comes some news today that isn't so good - for a second straight year, SAT scores for the most recent high school graduating class stayed at the lowest level in nearly a decade, a trend attributed to a record number of students now taking the test. The piece goes on to compare the results to past years and says, "You only had the best of the best taking the test. (Today) the SAT has become far more inclusive."

So, why is this such a big deal? Think about it. I am sure there are still students racking up perfect scores or near-perfect scores. Just because some other "competitors" may rack up the lowest possible scores that may be bringing down the average (may?), does their skewing results take away at all from those attaining perfection or near-perfection? Of course not! Great scores are still great. So why the shock and awe about increasingly lousy overall SAT scores?

To make this clearer, let's look at the Olympics. Supposedly the best of the best athletes in the world take part; perhaps we need to admit that approach is, uh, elitist and exclusionary. We need to allow more athletes of all abilities to participate; everyone should be able to join in. The world-record shatterers will still ultimately continue to shatter records, won't they? And maybe those who aren't as good or just don't care but were pressured to participate will be inspired to rise to a higher level of performance (or not). And the crème de la crème will still perform as well and break records, Unfortunately the news will say average times and scores are falling, but does that really matter? After all, the Olympics would be becoming far more inclusive, and as a result, average scores will fall, but so what.

One final thought. Maybe we can modify the events to give everyone a level playing field. You know, like in the marathon, instead of making everyone run the 26 miles and 385 yards (42.195 kilometers), maybe some could run a mile or two and be given full credit for that accomplishment if that's all they can do. Maybe others could use motorized vehicles over the distance or be carried on the backs of strong runners. Whatever it takes to accommodate those less able to perform the event should be considered. That way, everyone will be equal, scores and times won't look so bad, and isn't that what today is all about?

Later.

A Racist by Any Other Name...

We are very soon to hear who Barack Obama has picked as his running mate. As I am currently not at all impressed with mainstream politics-as-usual, the only hope I see is his selecting Bill Richardson; then I might take a closer look at Obama.

Otherwise, I will probably head back to supporting the Libertarian party as that's where my heart and mind reside; if I vote for what I believe in, I do not feel I am wasting my vote in that case.

Anyhow, to the purpose of this entry: I have no shortage of emails arriving from some hard-core Republican acquaintances out there eagerly forwarding anything that is anti-Obama, whether it makes sense or not. One person went so far as to send along a couple of "jokes" that loudly answered the question I had about whether he is anti-Obama because he's a Democrat or because Obama's black. In this person's case, it's the latter. The "joke" went beyond even my threshold for humor! I am no prude when it comes to jokes - I will tell (to a select group) jokes about almost anything if they are funny and obviously a joke. There is no dark agenda when I tell a joke even though to some people the joke may reinforce a "truth" or stereotype in their minds; in fact, those people will never hear my jokes.

After 31 years in the classroom, my sense of humor was driven deep underground. People with no sense of humor were in charge and made it clear to watch where we tread. Probably twice a year, I'd make a comment in class before I thought about what I was saying and while still smiling think to myself, "OMG, I'm going to get a phone call or be called into the principal's office. I'm doomed!" But it virtually never happened (except three times, which isn't bad for 31 years). The second time, it was recommended that I attend a course in sensitivity training, which, if you really know me at all, is like saying the same thing about Mother Teresa. A lot of people came to my defense, and for reasons only known to the Almighty, the whole thing just suddenly disappeared (as did the third time, which shouldn't have happened at all).

Anyhow, if you don't like the politics of Obama or McCain, fine; that's what it's all about. If you have another agenda, sometimes, it's easy to spot (see the picture, which I used without permission as I didn't know who to ask). In that case, your opinion isn't valid in my book. Sorry.
__________________________

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." M. L. King, Jr.

Later.

I Brought You to this Blog to Tell You a Secret...

I don't really think it will ever happen, but I have a deep-rooted fear that someday someone will call and tell me I have been invited to be a guest on the Maury show where someone has a secret they want to share with me. Can you imagine? That's the stuff nightmares are made of.

Well, keeping with the theme, I do have a secret to share, but I won't invite you onto national TV to share it (why do people do that). Weekday mornings at 9 am, if circumstances permit, I plop myself down and, gulp, actually watch Maury. I don't know why I do it - I am ashamed of myself, but I can't help it. I have read books, gone to meetings, and even tried a TV patch on my arm, but I can't stop. Yes, I am powerless. Watching Maury is like passing by a terrible car accident - I put my hand over my eyes but slowly spread my fingers apart and peek (or more).

All of that said, I ran across a column on www.FSUnews.com, the online edition of the Florida State University student newspaper. The column captured the excitement of the show I go through when I watch. So, I did what any responsible blogger would do and copied the column to post here. Then my conscience got the better of me, and I emailed for permission to repost the column, which was promptly granted (thank you Chris Lewis, General Manager). Share with me now the excitement of the Maury show - just about any Maury show as most are variations on a theme.

Television for the downtrodden
by Rachel Hoiles

Issue date: 1/13/05

At some point in life, most people must come to terms with the fact that they will never be Hollywood celebrities or powerful, national dictators. While sane people generally embrace this notion by joining unions and taking out life insurance policies, others seek their fortune on "The Maury Povich Show."

What makes the guests of the "Maury Show" special is that unlike guests on "Oprah" and "The View," they don't pollute valuable TV time with book promotions, Olympic accomplishments, or any sort of recognized talent (other than a mean right hook and the ability to procreate at ungodly high rates). But how could they have time for books and such when there are so many ways to tell your spouse that you were born a 'Wayne' rather than a 'Wanda'?

I appreciate that many of Maury's guests lack the most basic math skills, which, oddly enough, seems to be a fairly common problem that never gets its own episode. You'll never see, "Numerically Challenged ... I Have the Math Skills of a Household Rodent." In fact, arithmetic seems to be at the root of most problems for guests of "The Maury Povich Show," as many are simply unable to figure out how many people they had sex with in any given month. Take for example the guests on "Outrageous Paternity Test Results and Updates." These episodes feature distraught women desperate to prove that Candidate X is the father of their child. Maury really shines in these episodes because he gets to show his sensitive side.

MAURY: Carlita is here today because she believes that Arnold is the father of her eight-month old boy, Jake.

AUDIENCE: (Sees picture of Jake on projector screen) Awwww (Heads nod approvingly -- the baby is a hit.)

CARLITA: (Wipes away tears) That's right, Maury, I know that Arnold is the daddy of my baby, even though I sleep with many, many men.

MAURY: Come on out, Arnold!

ARNOLD: (walks onto stage, audience boos) Lying b----!

CARLITA: (hurls shoes at Arnold's head) Lying motherf---er!" (My note: this writer is good! All I hear are bleeps and more bleeps; I never was much good at lipreading.)

After the paternity test results are read aloud for dramatic effect, the feelings onstage go from rage to grief/gloating.

MAURY: (opening test results) Arnold, when it comes to eight-month old Jake, you are NOT the father.

ARNOLD: (jumps up and down in glee) Boo-ya!

CARLITA: Whaaat??! (bursts into tears)

MAURY: (Pats Carlita's back) There, there.

You could also watch any of this episode's ten thousand duplicates, such as "I'm Afraid to Tell You ... Our Baby Might Not Be Yours," "I Know He's the Father of My Baby...Take a Paternity Test to Prove It," and the classic, "My Mom is 100 Percent Sure I Am Not the Father of Your Baby." Many of these shows also feature sequels and/or trilogies.

Every once in a while Maury will give his program a change of pace by featuring makeover specials, such as "Turn My Wife Back Into the Super-Sexy Woman I Married," and the twist on that, "Turn That Gorgeous Gal Back Into My Handsome Son." Both are equally stimulating episodes, and require little or no conscience to enjoy. Guests are generally humiliated, but can take comfort in the fact that no matter how bad they look, at least they're not on "I'm Terrified of Chalk, Hair and Circus Clowns" (air date Oct. 24, 2002) or "Baby, I Didn't Mean to Scar You" (air date May 5, 1999).

It's a good thing Maury never runs out of ideas, and is never afraid to track down 230 pound 8-year-olds.

And it's hard to believe this guy is married to Connie Chung.

-30-

So, there you have it - a vicarious visit with the Maury show. Now, do you understand why I can't help watching? I don't either. Sigh.

Later.

(The Following is a Shameless Unpaid Advertisement)

I want to buy a house for $200 (using other people's money), turn it around, and resell it for a 10 million dollars! I want to sit in my bathrobe (I don't wear pajamas) and make millions sitting at my computer with just a few, simple clicks! I want to buy and sell stocks online and watch the millions roll in while I laugh at bills! I want a sparkling clean colon... oops! Forget that last one. Anyhow, I am out of work at the moment and need to generate a steady stream of income (in short, I need a financial version of Flomax). Unfortunately, in reality, it's not that easy.

Although I currently have many, many job applications out there (one actually [and a letter requesting appointment as a Bail Commissioner]), I am not really working.... or, until recently, I wasn't. Yes, I am still a Justice of the Peace, I casually sell personalized advertising specialties, and I collect a pitiful retirement check, but the three together don't go terribly far. All together, I probably am bringing in enough to pick up a Homer Simpson Chia Pet each month ($19.95 from www.thesimpsonshop.com).

Anyhow, when I knew "retirement" was becoming a reality, I began spending many, many hours online looking at "Make Money from Home" and "Become a Millionaire" offerings. I knew I could pick any one of the offerings and become an instant millionaire, but there was that nagging little voice questioning why more people weren't doing this. There are thousands and thousands of such "opportunities"; why aren't more people taking advantage of them? Are they for real?

(READER ALERT - a nasty four-letter word follows in the next sentence): Being brought up with an old-fashioned set of values, I always believed that to earn money, one needed to work for it, which brings to mind an old saying: "Why is it people born on third base walk around like they hit a triple?" Yes, I would love to be handed a check for a million dollars, but it isn't going to happen, so I fell back on the concept of making money the old-fashioned way - by working for it.

Sooo, I found an opportunity that appears to have NO downside, and with your help, I can make enough money to feed my family and animals (sometimes they seem like one and the same), put gas in the car (not that way - through the filler), keep the landlord happy (me), keep the family warm through our long New Hampshire winters, and maybe, just maybe, sock some funds away so that someday I really can retire!

After much research, I made a decision, and am now a Fuller Brush Man (technically an Independent Fuller Brush Distributor). The job offers everything I want - it keeps me busy and off the streets at night. There are other benefits as well, but I will save those for another entry. As I shortly need to close here, I will leave you with two thoughts: (1) Check out my website and buy my products. Think of Miss Jessica eating pasta most of the time (true [but actually her choice]). The site is www.fullerdirect.com. You need to accurately enter all of the following seven numbers - 0841110 and then browse to your little heart's content and order many mostly American-made products (that's gotta count for something). Postage and handling remains constant, so order away! Just think of the gas you will be saving. (2) If you would like to emulate me and follow in my footsteps, get out and meet lots of people, and make some extra money and have fun doing it, sign up as an Independent Distributor through me. You get the same great products at a nice discount, meet great people, and can ultimately quit your boring 9 -to-5 job. I will help you and take good care of you! Send an email to fbdaveb@gmail.com. Think about it. Thanks.

Later.

[Actor Portrayal. Your Results Will Vary. Unique Experience. Results Not Typical. Not Intended to Prevent or Treat any Disease or Condition. Dramatization. Professional Driver on Closed Course. I'm Dave Berman, and I approved this Ad. Seek the Advice of your Physician Before Starting any Treatment.]

One Person, One Vote....

I have been thinking a lot about this upcoming election, and I am still not impressed with my two choices (as far as the mainstream press goes, there are only two parties and two candidates). I keep thinking I should vote my conscience (Libertarian), but I also am thinking that may be a wasted vote. In the last election, Kerry received my vote, but it wasn't so much for him as it was against Bush. I thought my one vote just might make a difference - it didn't.

So, how much does one vote really matter? I am one person (one vote), and does my one vote really count toward anything? If we look at popular vote, my vote doesn't really matter at all. We are talking about one vote here, not bunches of one votes like bunches of one raindrops creating a flood. As a matter of fact, when it comes to popular vote, nobody's vote matters. In 2004, Bush (the victor) received some 50,455,156 votes, while Gore (the vanquished) received 50,992,335. Thinkers might wonder, "What's wrong with this picture," but they don't matter either, but that's not the point here.

Back in 1974, we in New Hampshire experienced the closest election ever in Senate history; it was between John Durkin (D) and Louis Wyman (R), and among its various recounts, at its closest, it was two votes apart, so my one vote still wouldn't have mattered. As it turned out, a special election was ultimately held, and Wyman emerged some 27,000 votes ahead.

So, I am left with a question: what's a voter to do? I think I really already answered it above. My only other question now is what if in some Putney Swope (quite an esoteric allusion) quirk of fate a Libertarian even got elected? How would the Libertariam platform ever be put into actual practice? The philosophy of freedom with responsibility sounds great, but my view of humanity is that pretty much everyone wants freedom, but few will accept the connected responsibility. If you have an answer, let me know.

Later.

I Can't Stop Monking Around

Okay, I admit it - there's a little bit of Monk in me... well, maybe more than a little. There are times I just can't help myself.

When I am in a store or someone's home and see an even slightly askew picture frame on the wall, I straighten it. When I see award plaques that are atilt on a wall, the same thing. In restaurants, chalkboard specials and menus provide particularly fertile grounds for me; I always point out errors I find; sometimes the chalkboard is changed; sometimes not. I can't help myself - I have to say something. Even standing at a checkout counter where a small pile of impulse items rests, I find myself aligning them to even them out. I once even wrote to Dean Koontz to tell him of an error in one of his books. He graciously thanked me and said he had done his research and must have been given faulty information (he had).

I was reminded of the above last night when I was reading a Lisa Gardner novel The Other Daughter (I follow authors when I find one I like - she is the latest. I have a pile of eight of her novels I am working through). A reader and writer have to work together - the writer's work has to ring true as the reader suspends his or her disbelief as the journey unfolds. A long time ago, for example, one book I read was set in Boston. The writer describe an area I was intimately familiar with; the problem is he described it wrong. That ruined the rest of the book for me - I disbelieved!

Back to Lisa Gardner (I would have written directly to her, but I couldn't find contact information. Maybe someone will forward what follows to her). As a character, an FBI agent, is handed a pistol, he says, "My God, this sucker has radioactive sites! I've only ever heard of them." My first thought was it's a typo, but it happened again... and again a third time on the next page. That was no typo: "Radioactive sites!" I did a quick Google search and found out a lot about radioactive sites. Whooda thunk the government was hiding the stuff right in plain sight on gun sights? Whooda thunk it? Arrrgh!

Later.

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Okay, work with me here - that's a symbolic representation of rain above - it seems that like this past winter where we had no shortage of snow, most every day recently (and them some) has been rainy. Even if there's no rain, the humidity makes it feel like we're swimming in soup. Arrrgh! It's unpleasant and annoying. I just thought I'd share that.

On other fronts, I am just starting to look for a new job. I am watching my summer money level slowly dropping, which puts on the pressure - as a friend told me, we do what we have to do! It's that simple. I will keep you posted.

Later.

If it Ain't Broke...

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more ?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time ?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, and sing a few songs... I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you ! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that ?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City ! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take ?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that ?"

"Afterwards ? Well my Friend, That's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions !"

"Millions ? Really ? And after that ?" said the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings doing what you like and enjoying your friends."

"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what I am doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years ?" asked the Mexican.

And the moral is: Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

~Author Unknown~

I love that story and the message it sends!
If I need to explain further, you won't get it.

Later.

No Matter How You Slice It...

(Photo from www.everytattoo.com)

I thought that today was the day - that I had finally gotten through! It's not like I am asking for anything big or complicated, but, alas, it again wasn't to be. I have gotten into the Dunkin' Donuts (DD) routine whenever I take my daughter for a riding lesson or whenever I am heading out on an adventure. Anyhow, today was an adventure - my wife and I were meeting three other Lions to cater a horse show as a fund-raiser (dogs, burgers, chips, and soda or water). I was the cook. I smell like a hamburger, but that's another story.

Anyhow, before our trek north to the show grounds this morning, we stopped at DD's. I ordered my usual - a poppy bagel and coffee; Miss Kim got coffee and doughnuts (unusual). Our bill came to $7.15; I paid with a ten. The new kid in training behind the counter took my ten and handed me back $7.15. I kept my hand out and said, "I think you made a mistake." He looked puzzled. He said that I had given him a ten. I said he had given me too much, handed it back, and told him to give me back $2. 85. He was incredulous! He said, "You could've gotten away with it!" Yes, I could have, but I am an honest person - apparently a rarity in today's youthful world. (I would not want to be the one looking at today's balance sheet, but that wasn't the issue.)

When I order the bagel, every time I say, "Toasted, with plain cream cheese, spread on it, and would you cut it in half, please." Trouble is they can't. Almost no employee there understands what it means to "cut it in half." I don't think it's really that hard a concept to understand. My daughter thinks it's funny. Back in the car, she delights in opening the bag, finding my bagel, and, rolling her eyes, announcing that it's not cut. One day, when I walked over to the person preparing my bagel, I caught his eye and made slicing motions with my hand as he bagged it (whole). He thought I wanted to shake his hand.

Today, I explained to the order-taker that I wanted it sliced in half - I even pantomimed the motion. He understood; he really did! But somehow, the message never got from him to the preparer. Back in the car, it was my wife who discovered the bagel sliced horizontally (technically, it was in half but not vertically). I think that the problem is the person taking the order is not the person fulfilling the order, and something gets lost in the few feet they're apart.

I know I can make this happen regularly; I just don't know how yet. Sigh.

Later.

Drip...drip...drip...

Today I had to pick up a pair of thinning shears we had sent out to get sharpened. All was fine until I looked across the street and saw a Blood Drive happening at the church. I decided then and there that it had been a while, so....

Since my shopper-friendly town allows thirty-minutes of free parking before nailing you with a $10 ticket, I thought it would be a good idea to leave a note on the window saying I was donating blood, which I knew would take more than half an hour (I guess it worked - there was no ticket). The drive was sponsored by the local Hannaford grocery chain, which is really a part of the Brussels-based Delhaize Group. Fortunately the store's workers and today's volunteers are all still local, which adds a pleasant, friendly atmosphere (as did the wonderful cheese and crackers, grapes, drinks, and other goodies they supplied).

On the plus side, all went pretty well - I didn't tell the nurses about my world-traveling, African, intravenous-drug-using, newly tattooed wife who gets "friendly" with HIV-active, uh, well, friends, but that's my business, not theirs (ONLY KIDDING! [I can see the Red Cross people gasping about now!]). Seriously, I checked out well enough to donate! I was reminded of the scene in "Beetlejuice" when he's sitting in the Waiting Room of Lost Souls. I was number 29, but it may as well have been the one Beetlejuice himself got before he switched it.

Anyhow, when I finally made it onto the donation lounger (you know, the beach-chair like thing), I knew I was good to go. My nurse, it turns out, and I have a past. - we were once naked together - me on an operating table and she under her uniform. When I wrote Berman's Bits for the area paper, her husband was my editor (small world). In the middle of my draining, two other nurses replaced her - one was in training. Her mentor said things like, "Be sure to shake his thing" and "Shake his bag" (seriously, she really did say that! Until I knew what she was referring to, I wasn't sure what to think!) Fortunately, the second nurse was a good learner and got it all right.

When I was all done, and I was finally ready to leave (the whole thing took 2-1/2 hours), the skies opened up and it poured! It was one of those storms I thought people only saw in Florida. I ran (as much as my ancient body let me) to my car and was literally soaked to the skin! Of course, within a mile, the rain had passed and the sun was out, and so it goes.

I gave my first blood in 1967. I was in the National Guard at basic training (Fort Dix, NJ) and was given the choice of an afternoon off if I donated. I figured it couldn't be worse than the training. I was right. Today was my 48th time giving!

Later.

Guest Blogger #1!

I have to change my mindset! I am no longer a teacher, so I am freer to say what I really think (but it is still quite hard for me to do it at this point - 31 years of self-censorship doesn't just go away overnight).

Anyhow, I have a guest Blogger today (that's him to the left, not me)! I have been reading this gentleman's words for years and was lucky enough to meet him and hear him speak this past year. The connection with my opening: he has done what I haven't been able to - that is be able to freely speak his mind (and write his words) and not care what others think. My work environment was such that the wrong thing said equaled big problems, so I learned to be quiet (or at least very, very carefully watch what I said). Anyhow, the column below arrived today, and I wanted to share it with my readers. The words below pretty much nail our messed-up country today! Read it, and then read it again. I hope you understand and agree. The following is reprinted with permission (assuming "Go for it, Dave" constitutes permission). Enjoy:

THE MIDDLE ROAD: AMERICA'S DESERTED WASTELAND

By Joe Klock, Sr.

As this is being written, our nation is celebrating its 232nd birthday, with gasoline at an all-time high throughout the land and public optimism, in some areas, seemingly finding lower ground on a daily basis.
Having lived through more than a third of America's history (35.345% for anal retentive readers), I have mixed emotions about its present status and future prospects.
To be sure, I applaud the fact that this country has survived a risky birth, a frail infancy and multiple crises, but I'm saddened by some of the changes in public attitude and governmental practices.
Although it is a time-honored policy among political partisans to "point with pride" to all of the principals and principles identified with their parties and "view with alarm" all those of the opposition, the polarization of these views has become increasingly rigid and mean-spirited.
Regrettably, in this presidential election year, it is customary to slap labels on those either holding office, seeking office or merely taking positions on matters politic.
At the highest level, one candidate is seen as oozing leftward, while the other sidles subtly to the right - both, presumably to attract new supporters without abandoning their core sychophants.
The mass media are rife with thinly-concealed propaganda, disguised as news, fact and objective debate. (For evidence of this phenomenon, flip randomly between Fox News and MSNBC between 7:00 pm and bedtime.)
In my small corner of the wordworking world, I have been accused of being both conservative and liberal, often with an accompaniment of pejorative comments and suggestions that my IQ and age are numerically equal numbers.
I plead, incidentally, guilty to both charges, tending to be conservative as to most economic matters and generally liberal in the social arena.
That said - and here I might start losing some of you readers - I feel strongly that those tendencies (an important word there) reflect the position of most Americans who do not fit into the inflexible mold of extremism.
In other words, most of us TEND to be the kind of moderates which most partisans PREtend to be in their public personae.
Also, most of us (exceptions noted above) are willing to concede that those with whom we disagree are not entirely wrong in their beliefs - except in such irreconcilable matters as the support of athletic teams and the proper seasoning of chili con carne.
In the language of partisanese, compromise is regarded as a hateful four-letter word, more appropriately replaced by either the flipping of one finger or the pointing of another.
This is why the blame game is played with respect to such problems as:
- Our hopeless-in-the-short-run dependency on fossil fuels.
- Our rape and pillage of a once-solvent Social Security fund.
- Our sailor-on-leave deficit spending policies.
- The surrender of policy-making to lobbyists and special interests.
- The transformation of our electoral process to an e-Bay auction.
- Our progressive departure from recognizing a power higher than ourselves.
- Disrespect for the flag and disdain of patriotism.
- Almost automatic reelection of underperforming public officials.
- An increase in laws and decrease in order.
- Shameless pandering to illegal immigrants and their (voting) supporters.
- Scorn from some international enemies and screwings from some friends.
All of these national scourges - among many others - are hot topics in the current campaign atmosphere, but have roots dating back through several presidencies and congressional transitions.
So when a single finger is flipped outward in the present, several others point backward, and none of our major problems can be laid on the doorstep of a single party, candidate or the immediate past.
What is missing in the "Sturm und Drang" of our current situation is an invasion by our elected leaders and self-appointed opinionists into the largely unoccupied wasteland of compromise.
Therein often is heard such encouraging words as "you have a point there," and "let's sit down and hammer out a solution" and "I said something really stupid, didn't I?" and "WE made a mistake, folks."
Until such sensible dialogue comes into vogue, we'll continue to be misguided by the rhetoric of those "pride pointers" and "alarm viewers," while the future Fourths of our descendants shape up as less festive occasions, with more candles, but smaller cakes.
Disagree with me if you wish, but please spare me the fingers!
One final thought: Oh, say, can you see any familiar figures in that middle ground?
Great lyrics for a new National Anthem, maybe, as our star-spangled banner doth seem to be wavering a bit.

Freelance wordworker Joe Klock, Sr. (joeklock@aol.com) is a winter Floridian who summers in Holderness, New Hampshire. More of his "Klockwork" can be found at www.joeklock.com. The KlockWorks, Inc., P.O. Box 72, Holderness, NH 03245
Phone: (603) 968-4449 E-Fax: (954) 333-2944 Web: www.joeklock.com
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