WHO AM I? WHO ARE YOU?

I used to do a writing exercise in class where I'd ask students to take out a piece of paper and write the numbers 1 - 20 down the left side, one number per line  (if you want to try it now, go ahead and get a piece of paper or open a new page on the computer word processing program. Go ahead, I'll wait. I need a bathroom break anyhow.

Okay, I'm back, and I am sure you are ready to go. On the top of the page, write (or type/enter): WHO AM I?

For each succeeding line, answer the same question twenty times. #1, you might say "A father." #2 might be a son or daughter (or husband or wife, etc). The first several will be easy. #7 might be a student or teacher. There does come a point when it gets tougher, but I know you can do it.

By now, you should realize we are complex beings who play many, many roles in our lives. Are we the same person for each interaction? Do we treat everyone the same, or are there many versions of ourselves for others? My "famous saying" was, "You don't have to like everybody, but you have to get along." Over the years, numerous students actually thanked me for that insight in their interactions with others (family, customers, etc).

Are there people/groups on the list you wish you could do better with? Go ahead, it's not hard (in most cases, it shouldn't be). At the end of the day, however, "To thine own self be true," but you have to find out who you really are first.

We are many people, and there is a process most of us go through to find the real us. During that process, we learn a lot. "Don't laugh at a youth for his affectations; he is only trying on one face after another to find a face of his own."

In my case, a different approach. Who am I? My students generally called me Mr. Berman (many still do some 40+ years later), but along the way as familiarity increased, they also referred to me as Mr. B, Berm, Bermie (I never liked that one), B-Man, Berm-Dude, Berm-Dog, B-Dog, C.B. DeBerman (some of you won’t be old enough to understand the allusion to C. B. DeMille, the famous director of epic movies - if you did know that, score one for you – I’m impressed), Dr. Berman (sorry, but that was my late, great father [also, I don’t have a doctorate]), L.B. (short for “Lust Bunny” [there really is an innocent story behind that one – just ask the twins Mark and Cindy – they named me]), The BermMeister, Grand Master B, Da Bomb, Da Shit (I asked around and found out that those last two actually are compliments in the ever-changing, often-confusing twisted language of the young), Mr. Bermer, and last but not least, The Bermanator. I am sure there were numerous other things I was called when I wasn’t listening, but the ones above are the ones I actually heard and readily recall. 

Anyhow, think about it all. I hope you realized or learned something here.

YES, DEAR. YOU WERE RIGHT....

I sometimes only half-listen to the news, and that's when I get in trouble.

With the recent passing of Congressman John Lewis, I thought I had heard his body would lie in state at the Georgia State Capitol Rotunda for a ceremony and then be moved to the Capital Rotunda in Washington on Wednesday.

When my wife told me tRump would not go to pay his respects to Lewis, I was stunned. "Of course, he will. He has to! He won't go to Georgia, but when Lewis's body is back in Washington, of course he will. As president, he has to."

"He's already in Washington lying in state," she pointed out, and, sure enough, there it was on the news.

It took a moment to process. When I did a little checking, tRump did say, "I won't be going, no."

Traditionally, presidents let past disagreements go when someone in opposition passes on. Class dictates doing the right thing and putting the past aside. There is a Latin saying: "De mortuis nil nisi bonum" - speak no ill of the dead. Obama spoke at John McCain's funeral. On the other hand, despite being the sitting president, tRump was not even invited to McCain's funeral. Ouch.

On yet another hand, in 2017, Lewis did refuse to attend tRump's inauguration saying that tRump wasn't a "legitimate president."

Anyhow, tRump really did say he wouldn't go to pay his respects.

Yes, dear. You were right. I was wrong.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Throughout my teaching years, I often offered a "Quick Write" at the beginning of the class - just something to get the creative juices flowing.

One year, my daily topic coincidentally turned out to be THE prompt that that year's standardized test asked (I don't think anyone noticed, however).

Anyhow, one writing prompt I offered somewhere along the way was "What's on your mind today?" Unfortunately, the students told me, and, in many cases, it was disturbing. Many (most) of my students were honest with me because they trusted me. 

At the start of each school year, I told students there were three things I had to tell someone if they told me: if they were planning to hurt someone, if they were planning to hurt themselves, or if they were being abused in any way, shape, or form, and if they supported the Yankees (just kidding about that fourth one [there really were only three]). 

They shared personal details of things students shouldn't have to carry with them. I spoke to the guidance counselor once over concern for a certain student, and she said it's amazing that s/he even makes it to school. The burdens were huge for some of them.

I was known for my 'stories' during class - something I was reminded of or wanted to share (just between us, every story supported the school's Mission Statement). I wanted the students to know I was human and made mistakes along the way. I wanted them to learn from my own errors along the way.

We teachers did what we could when we could and still hope we made a difference. I often told students their real education began when they graduated and walked out the door for the last time.

That's one reason I spend too much time on Facebook - to see how they are doing. I do see the good, the bad, and the ugly.

That said, is there anything you would like to see offered here? Any topic you'd like to hear about? Please let me know.

JOBS I HAVE KNOWN!

Many years ago, my dear,  now-departed mother suggested I write a book called Jobs I Have Known. 

While I didn't always have to, I pretty much always worked. I loved the people contact and learning new things (and the spending money)! Those all were what made a job great! That and being there for and helping others.

Among the jobs I still remember: door-to-door greeting card sales, bowling pin setter, drug store worker and soda-jerk (no comments, please), taxi driver, political volunteer, bus boy security guard, movie theatre usher, interviewer, motorcycle salesman, bouncer, car salesman, server, personalized advertising specialty sales, substance abuse prevention presenter, Tupperware dealer, radio DJ - WPNH), Fuller Brush man, and teacher. I can't remember any others now), but there once was a list of about 30 different jobs.

I can proudly say I was never let go from a job except one (car sales) because of a declining consumer market (about 30 years ago). I did leave a few as life circumstances changed. I did quit one that required me to walk a neighborhood, carry around a 16mm projector, talk my way into someone's apartment, and show ads while asking people if they remember them from the previous night's television. Ugh!

Anyhow, that was then, and this is now. I am retired and enjoying doing virtually nothing.

And yet, in the greatest economy ever, here I am again casually having to look for another job. It's a lot tougher when one is older.

"UNCLE DIRTY"

When I was more social, I used to be the 'life of the party' - always the wit, the king of the one liners - most of which were (and are) absolutely inappropriate (those few people who are in my inner circle today have probably heard some). 

I learned quickly to keep my mouth shut when I began teaching. One wrong comment was followed by a phone call to the school, and it was a trip to the principal's office. I always thought I was funny, but in a conservative environment, discretion was the better part of valor. I ended up with thirty-one years of holding things in.

There was a time when I thought I could make it as a stand-up comedian. I would call myself "Uncle Dirty," but there already was one, and I wouldn't want to get sued ala the Lady Antebellum versus Lady A controversy. 

Back in the old days, nothing was off limits - nothing! Race, religion, sex, you name it. If a joke was funny, it was funny and a just joke, and while I could completely understand that concept, others couldn't. Today, there are a few people who hear and endure my comments. When I hear a 'trigger word,' my wife (and gradually my daughter) knows what's coming. She's heard many of the jokes over and over again. The worst part is when we meet someone new who has never heard my witticisms before, the jokes just emerge; they push their way out unsummoned.

Interestingly to me, if you ran into me and asked me to tell a joke, I probably couldn't pull one out, but when I hear the right trigger word, there the joke is. 

Is it brilliance or a sickness? I am thinking the latter. There is a condition. As described in Wikipedia: Witzelsucht (from the German witzeln, meaning to joke or wisecrack, and sucht, meaning addiction or yearning) is a set of rare neurological symptoms characterized by a tendency to make puns or tell inappropriate jokes or pointless stories in socially inappropriate situations. A less common symptom is hypersexuality, the tendency to make sexual comments at inappropriate times or situations. Patients do not understand that their behavior is abnormal, therefore are nonresponsive to others' reactions. The disorder remains named in accordance with its reviewed definition by German neurologist Hermann Oppenheim; its first description as the less focused "Moria" (stupidity), by German neurologist Moritz Jastrowitz, was in 1888. Due to similarity of symptoms of the disorder to the mannerisms of Batman's arch-rival Joker; it is sometimes known as 'The Joker Syndrome'

Speaking of Joker: Batman and Joker were in a lunatic asylum... And one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more; nope. They decide they're going to escape! So they get up onto the roof, and there, just across a narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, Batman, he jumps right across with no problem. But the Joker did not dare make the leap. Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, Batman has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' But the second guy just shakes his head. He says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!

Sorry.

I LIKED IT HERE!

I think too much!

As I regularly skim news sites (both real and fake), I start to think about how the country was (or at least how I thought it was) way back when I was growing up. I have the benefit of hindsight, a still functioning brain, and am able to look at things with both eyes open. I have learned a lot as the years flew by. 

I grew up in a Liberal environment, so I was a Liberal. When I moved to NH, I was immersed in a Conservative world, and gradually moved to either side of the middle, embracing philosophies from both sides. Today, some 41 years later, I still see good on both sides. 

Cutting to the chase, while I was watching the news, I started thinking about a song my class sang in junior high school. The world was a lot different then (around 60 years ago), and while some advances along the way have been are miraculous, others changes aren't advances at all. I often feel like I am back in the 1950's.

The song is called "I Like it Here," and we sang it regularly. It describes the world I thought I lived in. Today, I am not so sure anymore. See what you think.

"I Like it Here"

I like the United States of America.

I like the way we all live without fear.

I like to vote for my choice, speak my mind, raise my voice,

Yes, I like it here.

I like the United States of America.

I am thankful each day of the year.

For I can do as I please, 'cause I'm free as the breeze,

Yes I like it here.

I like to climb to the top of the mountain so high,

Lift my head to the sky,

And say how grateful am I

For the way that I'm working and helping and giving

And doing the things I hold dear.

Yes, I like it, I like it, I like it here.

I'LL TAKE JEOPARDY FOR $2,000...

Tonight, the Ever-Lovely Miss Kim and I hunkered down and watched the very first 1984 episode of 'Jeopardy' featuring George Alexander Trebek (aka Alex). Aside from some technological changes, the game is almost unchanged from what we see today.

The questions were easier than we see these days (IMHO), but again, there have been an additional 36 years of knowledge, news, movies, etc., etc. Alex commented more, and the less-sharp editing left more answers than usual untouched.

As a couple, we have pretty much watched regularly through our years together (coming up on 27 [WOW!]). Even while we were dating, we'd spend time on the phone (sometimes hours)  watching the show (it was easier than trying to find something to say).  

Trivia time: the first tune the Ever-Effervescent Miss Jessica ever hummed was the 'Jeopardy' theme song.

When we watch, we take turns kicking each other butts. I always get beat up when the category 'THINGS KIM KNOWS' shows up. It's a fun half hour for us to show off our knowledge and be reminded of how much we don't know. 

Anyhow, the answer is: WHO HAS THE BEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL BRAIN EVER? IT'S BETTER THAN ANY OTHER BRAIN IN HISTORY... IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

The question?

MORE RANDOM STUDENT SNAPSHOTS

Throughout my teaching years, there have been many moments (good and bad) with my students I will never forget. Here are a few:

(1) A student of mine had been given an ongoing hard time by another student. When things finally played out, a fight ensued. My student had been pushed and pushed (documented) and finally responded. When I asked my class what had happened, they told me when my guy was done, the other student's face looked like raw hamburger! Karma.

(2) One student came to me with her sister and asked if they could talk to me. I said, "Sure." She told me her sister was being sexually abused by a family member. We talked about it and decided the three of us should go to the principal. They said they were scared and asked if I would go with them. I agreed, but let them know I couldn't go into the meeting because of confidentially issues. Like numerous similar other situations, I never found out what happened. I still wonder.

(3) A student came into class one day looking pretty beat up. I asked what happened, and he matter-of-factly said, "Oh, nothing. I got in a fight with my father." I asked, "You mean a fight fight?" He said Yes. Just another day in paradise.

(4) When reading and talking about The Diary of Anne Frank, one student commented, "It's really too bad Hitler didn't have the time to finish what he started." From a kid who probably still wants a straight, white, Christian, male-dominated America.

(5) In another class reading the same book, the introductory lesson was a three-part sheet asking (a) What you know about Jewish people, (b) What you think you know, and (c) What you want to know. I learned from a couple of students that Jews are ugly, they have big noses, it's part of their religion to sleep with their daughters, and they're all rich. Really?

(6) Some students had an over-the-top hatred of gay people. Trying to more personalize the issue, I remember asking him what he'd do if he found out his brother was gay. His answer came quickly: "I'd kill him." (I did find out that many of the most vocal anti-gays were, in fact, gay and had to cover it up.)

(7) Finally, to end on a more positive note, after a great discussion (I have no idea what it was about), one student told me, "Wow! You really understand us - it's like you are one of us!" 

FINDING GEORGE

Unprecedented?

We were watching "This Week with George Stephanopoulos" (a fake anti-tRump news show from ABC. I like to develop my opinions based on fake news). With about 20 minutes to go in the program, George awkwardly announced there was a 'technical problem,' and they were going to break. He never came back. If I can read body language, he was not a happy camper.

For the next 20 minutes, the same handful of commercials ran again and again and again, etc.

Anyone know what happened?

I wonder what the rebroadcast at noon will look like....

RE-POST FROM 2008 (APPROPRIATE TODAY MORE THAN EVER)!

(This may not work because I am sick and should be up in bed, but I did feel it necessary to at least get something posted.) An employee where I used to teach recently filed a complaint about John Irving's Hotel New Hampshire. She didn't think it was appropriate to read, so instead of returning it and saying something to the librarian, she initiated The Book Challenge Procedure to try to remove the book from the library. Sad!

This current week through October 4th is Banned Books Week. The concept of banning books is a big No-no in my world! Interestingly, while I am against censorship, there are things I believe should be censored - go figure.

Here's my issue - if a student's parent don't want him or her reading a book, fine, but don't you dare tell the rest of the class what they can or can't read or me what I can or can't teach! I checked one top 100 list of challenged books, and I taught at least 14 of them! I mean Lord of the Flies, Of Mice and Men, Flowers for Algernon, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and To Kill a Mockingbird???? What was I thinking? Maybe they were okay because no one challenged them. All it takes is one person.

The following ten quotes are to ponder. I didn't create them - I found them. If anyone asks, I will create and post a better look at censorship and find at least ten quotes I would have picked. There are a few good ones here!

(10) "We all know that books burn, yet we have the greater knowledge that books cannot be killed by fire. People die, but books never die. No man and no force can put thought in a concentration camp forever. No man and no force can take from the world the books that embody man's eternal fight against tyranny of every kind."
—Franklin D. Roosevelt

(9) "What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist."
—Salman Rushdie

(8) “Imagine books and music and movies being filtered and homogenized. Certified. Approved for consumption. People will be happy to give up most of their culture for the assurance that the tiny bit that comes through is safe and clean. White noise.”
—Chuck Palahniuk

(7) "Damn all expurgated books; the dirtiest book of all is the expurgated book."
—Walt Whitman

(6) "Every burned book or house enlightens the world; every suppressed or expunged word reverberates through the earth from side to side."
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

(5) “It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creeds into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.”
—Robert A. Heinlein

(4) “Intelligence is the capacity to receive, decode and transmit information efficiently. Stupidity is blockage of this process at any point. Bigotry, ideologies etc. block the ability to receive; robotic reality-tunnels block the ability to decode or integrate new signals; censorship blocks transmission.”
—Robert Anton Wilson

(3) “Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself. It is a hallmark of an authoritarian regime.”
—Potter Stewart, Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court

(2) "An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all."
—Oscar Wilde

(1) "There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of people running about with lit matches. Every minority, be it Baptist/Unitarian, Irish/Italian/Octogenarian/Zen Buddhist, Zionist/Seventh-day Adventist, Women's Lib/Republican, Mattachine/FourSquareGospel feels it has the will, the right, the duty to douse the kerosene, light the fuse. Every dimwit editor who sees himself as the source of all dreary blanc-mange plain porridge unleavened literature, licks his guillotine and eyes the neck of any author who dares to speak above a whisper or write above a nursery rhyme."
—Ray Bradbury

(These were found on Alternative Reel.com)

BLOODY WEDNESDAY!

The first time I donated blood was in late 1966 or early 1967. I was at Basic Training, and we were promised an afternoon off if we donated a pint of blood. Even though today is not 'Tell the Truth Day" (that was yesterday), I will be honest - I did it to get some down time from the rigors of Basic, even if it was only a few hours, and the donation process wasn't that bad.

Pretty quickly, my donation became a regular thing. While I did miss some years along the way for one reason or another, I have given fairly regularly, often two or three times a year.

My next chance to give will be on Wednesday, July 29th, at the Wentworth (NH) Elementary School from 1 p.m. until 6 p.m., which leads to the point of this entry. Please feel free to join me. As a sponsoring Lion's Club member, I will be there pretty much the whole time. Stop by, donate a pint, save some lives, and say 'Hi.'

Please contact me with any questions you may have - I will do my best to answer or find the answer for you.

Thank you!

(By the way, my afternoon off back in the army didn't work quite the way planned. A sergeant found me in my bunk in the barracks and put me to work. Sigh.) 

WHY LEARN ANYTHING?

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know." Albert Einstein (and yours truly).

The problem for people is we don't know what we don't know. We think we know all we need to know, but we don't. And because of this, there will always be gaps in our knowledge. As a matter of fact, there are many, many areas in which we are absolutely clueless to our deficiencies, and if someone tries to point that out, they are met with scorn and derision.

Many people's depth of thought stops at their Bumper Sticker Mentality (BSM). When one understands what a BSM is, it is a lot easier to see why 'things' are the way they are today. Thinking is hard work. Accepting a BSM as gospel makes it all so much easier.

Urban Dictionary defines BSM as "An inability to examine an issue in depth. An inability to get beyond the basic thought, which sticks in their heads like a mantra, closing off all other avenues of consideration." Read that again (and again, if necessary) until you understand. (I fear, however, some never will.)

As I may have said before, I have great difficulty answering a 'Yes' or 'No' question. It's rarely that simple; there are manifold conditions and considerations - qualifications, if you will. People see things as a matter of choosing between two options when, in fact, there are many options. From lucidphilosophy.com: "You must be a Republican or Democrat. You are not a Democrat. Therefore, you must be a Republican. The problem is the options are illegitimately limited; you could be [an independent], libertarian, anarchist, or socialist." Even within one party name, there are shades and finer distinctions.

Following an incident in my life several years ago, I did some research and learned about narcissism, malignant narcissism, narcissistic injury, and narcissistic rage. Years later, when tRump was elected, my knowledge came into play. Seeing what I saw, I remember saying that down the road when we see what the country is like under his rule, I would either say, "I told you so" or "I am sorry - you were right, I was wrong."

So today, I say, "I told you so!" but who's listening. tRump has issues - he is a malignant narcissist, and he is destroying the America I thought I once knew. Their BSM ("He says what he thinks," "He's drained the swamp," "He has the business sense to make America great," "He's against everything the Democrats are for," "He's not a politician," "He will change a crooked and rigged system," "Our government needs a strong executive who recognizes the balance of the Constitution," etc., etc.) makes any reasonable discourse impossible. 

"I told you so," but I suspect you will never know why.

HONEY, I MISS YOU!

Following a polite political messaging back-and-forth with a former student and the acknowledgement on my part that some things are open to interpretation, the following popped into my head. I don't remember the exact context, but as part of a poetry unit in a  class somewhere along the  line, I had brought a recording of and the lyrics to Bobby Goldsboro's 1968 song "Honey." 

To more fully appreciate what follows, cut and paste the link and first listen to the song and pay attention to the lyrics (yes, they may move you, and you might want to have some Kleenex (or other brand of facial tissue handy), but they also have been described as 'syrupy' - try not to get sick).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZiEY3O-FWk

If you actually listened, everything is pretty straight-forward there, or at least so I thought. 

One day, a student offered the theory that when she had the car accident, she had hit a biker, and when the angels came, it was the Hells Angels, who took her away never to be seen again.

After my initial incredulous response, I began to think about it, and I couldn't say the student was wrong! The neat thing about poetry is there are sometimes interpretations, but they usually exist within parameters. This student was right (to him), and, as I just said, I couldn't deny his possibility. Just wow!

Maybe I will remember other examples in time, but I do remember I love learning things from students.