Along Came a Spider

Talk about a random post! I am so sick of this winter that I even welcome the return of spiders (while I find them fascinating, I still have an aversion that may go a bit beyond what is accepted as normal). The guy (or gal) on the left was living in our back yard last year when s/he posed for me and, I suspect soon after I took the picture headed south for the winter - probably Florida. I have to give him credit as this has been a winter for the record books. So far, this has been the snowiest one in over a hundred years and is number two on the all-time list (at least since official records have been kept). Just when I thought we had turned a corner, this past Friday was yet another day out of school! So far, our regular school days have been extended an extra 35 minutes to make up for all of our missed days - that may not seem like a lot, but my students (who feel about school the way I feel about spiders) are getting to be even more of a handful than usual. Even though this has been a pretty good year, I am ready to think about retirement, which simply means looking for another job to supplement my state's lousy retirement offering. Maintaining health insurance is my biggest concern. If anyone reading has any offers, I'm ready to listen. What am I looking for? I don't know - I have taught for nearly thirty years, so I don't even know what's out there. It seems like so many jobs have gone to China, India, etc., that there are not many left. I would love to somehow to have benefits and work from home, which itself would offer many benefits. As it is now, I walk a delicate tightrope as I take a mild diuretic in the morning. At school, I can't just walk out of my classroom to go potty (an expression that emerged when our child showed up) - if anything happened in the classroom while I was elsewhere, guess whose fault it is.... The thing that seems to most drive schools is fear of liability - I'm old enough to remember when schools used to be about education, but that's another story for another time.

Later.

In looking at other blogs, it looks like I am about the only one who had no pictures posted! That spurred me to give one a try (I'm new at this stuff). I am a word person, so that has influenced what has come before.

This was a Maine shot from my family's only real vacation in our years together (excepting our honeymoon in Nova Scotia). Every other trip we took was connected to a convention, horse show, or the like. We're pretty much homebodies, so travel isn't a big deal, but my daughter is of the age when we should definitely consider some sightseeing! Of course, gas prices may put a crimp in our plans, but, you know what? I believe we only go 'round once in life , so we should grab for the all the gusto we can (why do I think of beer with that last statement)! If this looks okay, I have lots more pictures I can post and share. We'll see what happens.

Later.

Oldies but Greaties!

Tonight I spent my evening DJ-ing for my daughter's eighth-grade dance. I had done it twice before, but tonight my stress level was finally at a manageable level. The dance was advertised as a 50's - 60's dance, which is what I'm all about; my music of choice is certainly eclectic, but oldies win out. Tonight were the classics - from Little Richard to The Four Seasons to Chubby Checker - they're all old friends. I wasn't so lucky with the first two dances I did.

When I did the first two dances, I was handed several current CDs of alleged current "music" (boy do I sound like my father). I literally did not recognize any of the "artists" nor did I recognize any of the titles! It was a recipe for disaster. When an eighth-grader approached me and asked me to play a slow song, I didn't have a clue what songs were slow (or fast) - I had to call my daughter and her friends over to get a clue. When kids asked if I had anything by something called Akon, I went off in search for Acorn - it was sad. The titles and "artists'" names might as well have been written in Greek (I took Latin in high school). The kids were slow learners as they kept coming in human wave attacks asking me to play this or that. I was also a slow learner because I went back for the same thing a second time (on the plus side, I was saving the class lots of money as I worked for a bag of popcorn and a couple of waters). The dances lasted for three hours - I was sure my watch had broken each time! Somehow, I made it through both evenings. I must not have totally blown it because they asked me back (or they really needed the money for the class).

Tonight, I brought about twenty of my own comfortable CDs. The students were in the same boat I was for the other dances... I thought, but they did know a lot of the songs. I don't think my watch broke until the final twenty minutes tonight. Since my daughter was there, I tried not to play too many slow songs if you catch my drift here. I don't want her dating until she's thirty. Anyhow, with the help of my wonderful wife (who also chaperoned and assisted me), I made it through the festive event. The best part is that's the last dance I will be doing as a DJ. Next year, my daughter will be in high school. As her sport will be the school's equestrian team, I'll still be around as a barn dad. Whether or not I'll be at school dances is another story, but they still need chaperones... and I'm still her dad.

Later.

"Pardon me; would you have any...?"

Talk about snob appeal: for those old enough to remember the commercial some fifteen or so years ago, on a country road, one Rolls Royce pulled up beside another. A distinguished-looking gentleman "veddy properly" asked another through the car window, "Pardon me; would you have any Grey Poupon?" to which the other replied, "But of course," as he motions his chauffeur to drive on (you can see it on YouTube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmannAYiwh0 ). I always thought the stuff must be pretty special - something way beyond my pedestrian tastes and pocketbook. Anyhow, as part of my South Beach diet, I just tonight happened to have a hot ham and swiss sandwich (on a small wheat roll), which just happened to come with the celebrated Grey Poupon. You know what? The Grey Poupon was mustard! Mustard - nothing more or nothing less.

This led me to think back through all the years about all the things I had to have that looked so cool, righteous, special, whatever in the ads, and never were. I am finally learning. With today's economy, which seems to be heading further and further south on a daily basis, we all need to be more aware of what we are spending our money on and whether it's really worth it or not. Most often, it's not.

Later.

E-mail and Me and Time-Warner too.

The thing about getting older is that my tolerance level isn't what it used to be. Just as teenage males sometimes take into their mid-20's to have a part of their brains fuse (or whatever it does) and let them realize there are often dangerous consequences to their actions, I also read that a part of the brain unfuses (or whatever it does) in older people and drops the filtering mechanism that formerly prevented us from just saying whatever we want. That said, I find myself growing more and more impatient with the way things are.

For quite a while I've enjoyed "high-speed" Internet through Adelphia. I have no idea how the company compares to others because like so many other areas up here, it's the only game in town. All I know is that it was fine enough to keep me from going back to my dial-up provider (great folks but too slow). Well, as Frost wrote, way leads on to way, and Adelphia sold out to Time-Warner (T-W). I didn't notice any real difference... until a few weeks ago. I began getting "High Water Mark Notification" notices (I have to check the wording on that) which warned me that my e-mail inbox was filling up (something I used to do painlessly with my car, but that's another story for another time). They send the notice when there is 10Meg in the inbox (I am guessing that's where the measurement is taken); when the box reaches 20Meg, messages are bounced back to the sender. Either I never exceeded the limits before or since the new company took over they came up with a way to squeeze customers to spend more for more space. With my typical e-mail w/video attachment coming in at 5 or 6 Meg, the space gets used up pretty fast.

As I feel I am already paying them enough for what I am getting (cable TV as well), I checked out G-mail. It's free and allows 6522 Meg of free e-mail (as a T-W rep told me if I use G-mail, I have to look at ads [there are ads but I don't have to look at them] - they're down the right side of the screen). So, let's see; I can pay for a service where if a friend sends me three video e-mails, anything after those gets bounced (returned to sender), or I can have a service for free (paid for by advertisers) that will allow me to receive 1,087 6-Meg videos before I run out of space. I'd ask you to do the math, but I just did.

Anyhow, maybe T-W will see this and upgrade its service, but it's a large company and it doesn't have to. Fortunately, it's not totally the only game in town when my town now includes the rest of the world (via the web).

Later.

Write On Update 1

(Review) After our state newspaper decided not to carry Dilbert for several days because the powers that be felt that some readers might be offended, I became offended and sent along a request for a refund for the issues in question; I am paying for a product and expect to receive the product I expect to receive, which means Dilbert will be included and not arbitrarily removed because someone might be offended. I mean, I do believe in the First Amendment.

(Update) I heard back from the paper; the circulation/subscription department said they would adjust my account (which I took to mean adding the number of papers I complained about to my subscription). The responder also said my comments would be forwarded to the news department. Well, I wrote back that I don't want my subscription "adjusted" - I want a refund as there is a principle involved here. It would be too easy for the paper to just add four or five issues.

In other areas, this week has been my first full five-day work week at work since November. Between snow days, vacations, and whatever else came along, I've gotten spoiled. then with the early Daylight Savings Time, and the lost hour of sleep, I have been dragging. Thank goodness the weekend is here. We spent some time today with a pick ax I bought trying to widen the driveway (still a huge buildup of ice) and open the end where there was a lip of ice several inches wide and deep; it worked like a charm! We should sleep well tonight.

Later.

Write On!

In my younger days, I was quite a letter writer! When a company upset me, I wrote a letter. Once, a local supermarket had a large banner proclaiming "GUARANTEED LOWER PRICES - WEEK AFTER WEEK." Just the week before, the Boston Globe carried a story about how our local market was actually charging higher prices to basically subsidize another of its stores in another town where there was competition (there was none in my town). So, I wrote a letter asking to take advantage of the guarantee as I knew prices weren't low. I remember asking, "Lower than what? Next week's prices?" I never got an answer, but the sign did almost immediately disappear. Since then, I haven't written many letters, but I am ready to resume.

I have been a long-time subscriber to our largest state newspaper, the (conservative) Union Leader. Today, there was a terse message and blank space where Dilbert usually appears; it reads: "Editor's Note: Due to content that some readers may find offensive, Dilbert will not run for the next four days." Uh, excuse me, but is there a breach of contract here? In exchange for my money, I am to receive a certain product, which includes a daily dose of Dilbert. According to The 'Lectric Law Library's Legal Lexicon: A contract is "an agreement between two or more competent parties in which an offer is made and accepted, and each party benefits. The agreement can be formal, informal, written, oral or just plain understood. Some contracts are required to be in writing in order to be enforced. (2) An agreement between two or more parties which creates obligations to do or not do the specific things that are the subject of that agreement" (perhaps the term 'competent' may come into play here, but...). Here I am paying my money with a certain expectation, and it isn't happening - at least for four days. As a result, I am going to write and ask for a refund for those four days. I usually get what I want - as Davy Crockett supposedly said, "Be sure you're right, then go ahead." I'm off to do just that.

Later.

Sunday, Sunday (so good to me)...

Today has been a typical Sunday... so far (one never knows what the future holds, even if 'the future' means five minutes from now). The ever-lovely Miss Kim was up at 6:30 (really 5:30 if the clocks hadn't been pushed ahead for whatever reason we do such nonsense) to get ready for the day, which included taking the (usually) ever-effervescent Miss Jessica to the barn for a riding lesson at 9. I slept in until 7:30 (6:30 until my body adjusts) as I didn't know I was going along - I found out five minutes before we left. We did our stop at Dunkin' Donuts as is our wont before lessons, arrived at the barn, and did what we usually do - Miss Jessica gets her lesson and Miss Kim and I stand around to watch and compliment (if warranted). We are also on call should Miss Jessica need gloves, a sip of hot chocolate (warm chocolate by now), or ground poles set up or moved. In the middle of the lesson, Miss Kim and Miss Sarah (instructor and friend) pointed out the fact that my jacket (a really warm hooded U.S. Polo Assn. jacket bought not for the name but the price [found at Marshall's] had quite a rip across the back - the stuffing hadn't started bleeding out yet as it had just happened when I brushed up against a piece of hardware to secure the ring door. It was like I had been "shanked" from the back ("shank," you know, a verb - to shank). When we get back home some two hours after the time we left, I sutured the slice in my back with fabric tape I had from the time I took a hit to the right forearm of the coat (as Miss Kim said, being at the barn is a contact sport). Unfortunately, I had no matching color left, so while the coat is now still fully functional, there's a light blue stripe across the back. As one not driven by fashion, however, it's okay - I have enough self-confidence to wear it in public as a kind of blue badge of courage. Then, I have a dump run to do (let's be honest, it's really not a sojourn to the transfer station as my stay usually lasts five minutes or less). Once we get home, I move to my desk and computer where I compile/write my weekly online column (www.bermansbits.com). So, uh, I guess it's time to start this week's column, so that's it for now.

Later.

It Aways Happens

I recently told someone who asked if I was doing any weddings these days that the winter months are my slow season, and, no, I had nothing lined up. I should say that more often. In the past couple of days, I have suddenly had three inquiries! Of course, an inquiry is no guarantee, but most people do follow through. Sadly, it's getting late, so a short entry tonight.

Later.

Branching Out

I guess if one does a blog, (1) there should be regular entries and (2) each entry should be whatever the spirit moves me to write. This fulfills both.

As not much of great general interest goes on in my life, let me say that I have decided I want to accumulate some wealth. For the past dew weeks, I have been reading up on investing and talking to people. I am more confused than ever. On the plus side, I have never been a money person (that's not the plus). Instead, what would have made my eyes glaze over a few weeks ago is now fascinating! There is an excitement about entering The Market, but I have yet to do anything. Now doesn't quite seem to be the right time. As prices are dropping like stones, whatever I do invest will buy more the longer I wait. Most contemporary wisdom says when one does invest, do so for the long term - invest and forget about it. When I finally do, I will.

By the way - I am now selling pencils for $100,000 each - the way I see it, I only have to sell one a year! If you'd like one, let me know.

Later.

In other areas...

A friend sent this to me recently, and much of it is true! I don't have a source for it, so if anyone knows, pass it along.

"I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes and the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avant garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep til noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set .

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!

MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!"
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In other areas, another snow storm in my world! We were number 8 on the all-time most snow list; this should move us up a bit. I have to go shovel, so more will come later. (Hmmm, it just occurred to me that I have the power to solve many of the world's big problems! Seriously, here's how my luck works. All I have to do is buy a monster snow blower, and we'll never again see snow like this. Similarly, maybe I should invest heavily in gas stocks! Maybe I'm on to something here....)

Later.