Close your eyes...

Close your eyes, click your heels three times, and say, "There's no place like the ocean; there's no place like the ocean...."

Seems like just yesterday we were complaining about the amount of snow we had last winter. Interestingly, today is the last day in NH that can be counted toward a season's total snowfall, the last of which was certified as the snowiest in a hundred years but still 2-1/2 inches shy of the all-time record since recorded totals. Meanwhile, the pattern of hot, humid days and chance of afternoon thunder showers continues. I tempted fate today and went out on my motorcycle for a few errands. I did get smacked in the face by a few raindrops, but anything big held off. I pretty much am a fair-weather rider. Normally, I get within three miles of my home before the skies open up, but today was fine riding. Gas up our way is $3.98 today, down from $4.01. Now that I think about it, I could probably make the case for domestic terrorism with what's happening with prices. I have a budget plan for oil with which I pay year 'round. The plan will be "re-evaluated in January, but my current monthly bill is $575... and I thought last year's was high at $269. As many switch to wood, I can only imagine where cord prices are headed. I got tired of schlepping wood every day, so I went with oil. My back is shot (or at least wounded, so that's not an easy option this year. Besides, the space I kept the wood is currently filled with horses, hay, and shavings (not to mention a few new-found kittens currently being fed by Miss Kim). Sigh.

I attended my first official Retirees' Breakfast today. On the last Monday of each month, recent and not-so-recent retirees (former colleagues) gather at a downtown diner for breakfast. Some weeks, four or five people show up - today there were 17. Of course, the diner had one cook on and was busy to boot. I didn't get what I ordered, but it was close enough to keep my mouth shut (except to shovel in the food). We sat at a long table (several slid together), so we were limited to talking to those in our area (actually, there was a little bit of yelling, so we really weren't that limited. We covered topics like safe investments (an oxymoron these days) and good books (I have already forgotten the names I was given).

Well, Jess and I have to head into the big city to feed friends' horses (they're out of town for a few days). Hope all's well with all of you.

Later.

ConGRADuations!

After spending nearly half an hour trying to resize the picture to the left and remove the red eye, I have only partially succeed in my mission. I should have checked with the computer expert (also pictured left), but she's busy.

Regardless, the ever-effervescent Miss Jessica has taken the next big step in her life journey - she has been graduated from her middle school and will be attending high school in a few short months. Somehow, I can't picture her ready to be reading Shakespeare., but what do I know? I can't even picture her ready for high school, but that's something I have to deal with.

My daughter in high school? Oy! Maybe there's some mistake - maybe she really does want me to read Goodnight Moon or Owl Babies one more time... or maybe I don't know where the time has gone and that my little girl isn't so little anymore. Of course, I haven't changed at all - I am still 46... aren't I? At this point, I offer the following for you to cut and paste in your browser: http://tinyurl.com/3txkrd
There are certain songs I have trouble getting through, and this is one of them... especially at this time looking at Jess's picture.

Well, that's it for now.

Later.

Retirement... or "Renewal"?

On the day of my high school's annual yearbook assembly, the principal called up this year's five retirees to be recognized (which was strange because I honestly thought everyone knows who I am and what I look like - as if people are going to point and say, "There he is! There's Berman! I recognize him!"). So, as I stood with the others before the gathered multitudes who were madly clapping and cheering for us, a bizarre thought entered my mind - I felt like I was very much a part of the "Renewal" scene from "Logan's Run" (the 1976 movie in which people led a perfect, seamless existence until the age of 30 at which time they were required to go to the public spectacle of "Renewal," which everyone saw as, well, Renewal, but, in fact, turned out to be the entertaining extravaganza of eradication (no wonder some people ran). I felt we were being put on display before going out to permanent pasture.

As of 8:28 AM on Thursday, June 12th, I walked out of my school for the last time as a direct part of it; I will never return except on the other side of the desk as the Ever-effervescent Miss Jessica's father (as a parent). I will never again walk in at 6:45 AM to check my mailbox, never again sign on at the desk top computer to check my email, never again sit with my class at the annual yearbook assembly, never again, well, you get the idea. I will, however, have to stop at the main office to get a visitor's badge. My retirement was the closing of one door, but at the same time was the opening of another. I haven't really looked through the new door yet, but it awaits me; all I have to do is step through and see what's on the other side. Right now, first I have to catch my breath and see where I am before I see where I am going. I will let you know what I find.

Later.

Will Work for Health Insurance!

Well, it's official - I am now unemployed!

The best part is I jumped through the last-day checking out hoops (even turning in the key that got me into faculty and staff restrooms) and made it home in time to see the latest episode of Maury! That's my (no-longer) secret pleasure, and I wasn't disappointed - today's theme is "I had sex with two sisters... Am I their babies' daddy?" Classic.

On the other hand, the thought that I am now without job keeps creeping into my conscious. This checkout day was like all the others, so there was no big deal there, but come late August, I won't be getting the welcome back letters as I will no longer be an employee. I won't have to get back into the routine of getting up at my usual 5:20 AM. This afternoon is the retirement party for me and the four others who will join me in the ranks of the unemployed. I have enough saved for a few months of fun and frolicking before panicking sets in, but I won't wait - I may take a week or two and then begin beating the bushes for a job. The biggest problem is health insurance. Even with a state subsidy, the plan I have to use will result in well over $900 a month being taken out of my retirement check resulting in the title for this post. That doesn't leave a lot.

Well, I have a party waiting, so more later.

Later.

Well, I'm impressed!

Wow! First off, I have to tell you - I just got a personal letter from VICE PRESIDENT AL GORE - really - that's what the envelope says in the upper left corner where the return address is. Looking at the rest of the front of the envelope, I think if he were still vice president he could have saved us some real money. This letter he sent to me (typed-out address to me personally and everything) only cost him 8.5 cents to send. Think of it - only 8.5 cents to drop off a business-sized envelope (personally addressed to me) somewhere in Washington, D.C. and have it delivered right to me in New Hampshire for only 8.5 cents! I mean, if I go to mail a letter, it costs over 40 cents (I don't know the exact amount; when I learn what it is, it always seems to go higher again); and then there's gas, which seems to keep going higher as well but doesn't have to! I figure for me to go to the post office, it costs me about $1.2966666 etc. That's just to drive three miles to the building and three miles back. Anyhow, if I didn't have a box in the post office, I could save all that money. What I do know is that I have six stamps left and six one-cent stamps before I have to open the next roll which covers the last price hike. Probably by the time I open it, I'll have to buy another 100 one-cent stamps to cover the next increase. The rest of the story is short - he wanted money from me to help defeat the Republican presidential candidate - John McSame. I really don't care for either party's offering this time around. I am ready to run for office, but that's a story for another time. Al Gore asking me for money - with all he's saving on postage one would think he has saved enough not to have to ask for money.

Well, I am off to perform a wedding, so I gots to go. Make it a great day.

Later.

Today's Adventure!

Today was, for the most part, a typical horse show day - at the barn by 6:15am and home by about 8pm. Jessie and Dixie (pictured right) had an outstanding day (she got a reserve champion in one division and champion in another).

The adventure part really began as we were going around a roundabout (if you really want to know about a roundabout check out the entry at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roundabout [it's still a rotary or traffic circle to me]). Let me just say one trailer tyre (oops, I mean "tire." The talk about a roundabout got me feeling veddy British for a moment) came into contact with a kerb (you know what I mean) and in the same way the Titanic touched the iceberg, the tyre did the tyre equivalent of the ship and sank!

Long story short, we pulled into McDonald's for a bite (no, not fish and chips) to garner enough strength to change the unfortunate trailer tyre. First, we removed the horse (see picture) and hand grazed her on the delicious greenery decorating the establishment. Then I, using a Chinese-made lug wrench, impressively managed to loosen five of the seven lug nuts (they hadn't been touched for 5 years and were somewhat rusted in position). Sarah, the truck's driver and friend extraordinaire, realized I might be about to die from the exertion of trying to loosen the last two lug nuts (my face's shade of red and my panting might have been a clew), so she went into the store and found a buff, young man unfortunate enough to be the first person she saw. He came out, and standing on one arm of the lug wrench and yanking on the other managed to free the last two (I must have loosened them for him). When they were all loose, and to our profuse thanks, he retreated back inside conceivably safe once again behind the counter. Sarah, meanwhile, backed the trailer onto a small platform which raised the trailer enough to pull the tyre off and replace it with the spare.

Seeing a horse grazing at McDonald's must have been a once-in-a-lifetime experience for patrons we were grateful to provide. Adding urgency to the situation was the fact that the dog waiting at home (no doubt crossing his legs as we were approaching the 13-hour mark, perhaps a new record for him) needed to be let out. Of course, there was no cell phone signal (that happens a lot [way too much, if you ask me, which you didn't]), so even more time elapsed until a call to Ginny, our wonderful neighbor, got through, and she let the poor dog out (he didn't stop long enough to thank her as he raced outside).

Anyhow, I am tired, so that's it for now. What a great, interesting day!

Later.