"UNCLE DIRTY"

When I was more social, I used to be the 'life of the party' - always the wit, the king of the one liners - most of which were (and are) absolutely inappropriate (those few people who are in my inner circle today have probably heard some). 

I learned quickly to keep my mouth shut when I began teaching. One wrong comment was followed by a phone call to the school, and it was a trip to the principal's office. I always thought I was funny, but in a conservative environment, discretion was the better part of valor. I ended up with thirty-one years of holding things in.

There was a time when I thought I could make it as a stand-up comedian. I would call myself "Uncle Dirty," but there already was one, and I wouldn't want to get sued ala the Lady Antebellum versus Lady A controversy. 

Back in the old days, nothing was off limits - nothing! Race, religion, sex, you name it. If a joke was funny, it was funny and a just joke, and while I could completely understand that concept, others couldn't. Today, there are a few people who hear and endure my comments. When I hear a 'trigger word,' my wife (and gradually my daughter) knows what's coming. She's heard many of the jokes over and over again. The worst part is when we meet someone new who has never heard my witticisms before, the jokes just emerge; they push their way out unsummoned.

Interestingly to me, if you ran into me and asked me to tell a joke, I probably couldn't pull one out, but when I hear the right trigger word, there the joke is. 

Is it brilliance or a sickness? I am thinking the latter. There is a condition. As described in Wikipedia: Witzelsucht (from the German witzeln, meaning to joke or wisecrack, and sucht, meaning addiction or yearning) is a set of rare neurological symptoms characterized by a tendency to make puns or tell inappropriate jokes or pointless stories in socially inappropriate situations. A less common symptom is hypersexuality, the tendency to make sexual comments at inappropriate times or situations. Patients do not understand that their behavior is abnormal, therefore are nonresponsive to others' reactions. The disorder remains named in accordance with its reviewed definition by German neurologist Hermann Oppenheim; its first description as the less focused "Moria" (stupidity), by German neurologist Moritz Jastrowitz, was in 1888. Due to similarity of symptoms of the disorder to the mannerisms of Batman's arch-rival Joker; it is sometimes known as 'The Joker Syndrome'

Speaking of Joker: Batman and Joker were in a lunatic asylum... And one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more; nope. They decide they're going to escape! So they get up onto the roof, and there, just across a narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, Batman, he jumps right across with no problem. But the Joker did not dare make the leap. Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, Batman has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' But the second guy just shakes his head. He says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!

Sorry.