There is a price for everything.

After 29 years in my home and 29 years of shoveling the snows of New Hampshire winters, I finally broke down (figuratively and literally)and bought a snow thrower. My back isn’t what it used to be, and shoveling isn’t easy any more, even with a nice aluminum grain shovel with a generous shoulder (the shovel’s), head, and cutting blade (official names for shovel parts [I looked them up]). Of course, there has been no snow for three weeks, but this morning was the morning I got to take out the blower for its maiden voyage. I filled it (her?) with gas, and she started on the first pull! It was all good… until I came up behind my car.

The short of it is there is a small learning curve with anything new. The left hand runs the auger; the right, the forward motion. That shouldn’t be too hard to do, and, for the most part, it wasn’t… until I got to my car. I was moving confidently forward, gripping the handles like holding ape hangers on a Harley (with about the same noise), but before I knew what happened, I got hung up on a small pile of ice, which slid the growling machine toward my car. Before I knew it, the auger had grabbed onto the corner of the bumper and started pulling the car into the powerful rotating jaw of the blower.

Instinctively, I tried to pull back, but it was too late. The bumper, tailgate, rear light, and trailer hitch all got pulled in chewed up, and spit out all over the yard; even as I watched in horror, the whole car was relentlessly sliding backward into the auger. I stood rooted to the spot just watching in stunned astonishment. Finally, I shook my head, coming to my senses, sprang into action, and let go of the accelerator. It took a few more seconds until the auger finished chewing and stopped. I am not sure, but I think I heard a discreet belch.

I just stood and looked, unable to move. I am not sure what the signs of shock are, but I was shocked, if not in actual shock. It wasn’t supposed to be this way – it rarely ever is. I shut off the blower and started collecting pieces thinking I could duct tape or super glue them back on, but that’s like trying to put a scrambled egg back together.

Anyhow, I learned a lesson today. There is a learning curve for new things, and there’s always a price for everything.

p.s. Most of what’s above didn’t actually happen… except for the ice pile, the machine’s sliding sideways, and the resultant small scratch on the side of my car. Yes, it could have been worse.