Rho Delta Omega (or Pee Triangle Horseshoe)

I believe I have a lot in common with Senator John 'Bluto' Blutarsky. If he is like most senators, today he wears a dark suit and red power tie and has lots of money, no or very short sideburns and when he speaks publicly, he is, quite frankly, bo-ring! Except for the part about the suit, tie, money, and sideburns, that pretty much describes me... today. But, I wasn't always this bo-ring. Noooooo (said in a drawn-out gravelly Belushi voice)! There was a time when I walked the streets of Boston and men trembled and looked away and women locked up their daughters (to no avail). I was a Rho Delt!

While on Facebook, I found a group of brothers from my old fraternity - even though I have never met any of them (yet), they are still my brothers - that's what fraternities are all about. I need to find out about what can be shared publicly, but I can say for now that we were the template, the model for the movie "Animal House" (except they had to tone it down for the screen). You take one look at me today, and I know it's hard to believe (almost as hard as "Change" and "Hope" in politics), but it's true. Unfortunately, as Doug Neidermeyer said in the movie, "...we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here." As a result, I will not list specifics here and you will have to accept my word (still worth something, I trust) that that's the way it was.

Having taught in a public high school for 31 years, I had to behave (well, i didn't have to, but if I wanted to keep working...), and when one accurately pretends for any extended length of time, the make-believe world subtly and gradually morphs into the new reality, and I have become quite bo-ring! It's like an undercover policeman who enters the depraved world and becomes depraved himself. I entered the boring world, and, well, you know the rest.

Today, the frat no longer formally exists although some upstart sorority (a sorority) Alpha Kappa Alpha has absconded with the name and started a Rho Delta Omega chapter in Palo Alto, California - no connection to us, of course!

Anyhow, perhaps with intense therapy and the chance to talk with and rub shoulders with my brothers, who knows what will happen? The same body that scored twice in our 85-0 victory in fantastic fraternity football final (nice alliteration, Berman) is now pretty much shot, but my mind is still somewhat intact (although fraught with more holes than a fine aged Swiss cheese). As I have rarely ever sworn aloud in the past 38 years, maybe even that will change (let me try now to see if I can do it: uh, doo-doo, poopie, ca-ca). Well, it's a start. Is it too late to save me? Time will tell!

Later.