Being an Adult

What is it to be an adult? When the topic presented itself in class, I always told students that part of being an adult is doing what you don't necessarily want to do.

A couple of personal cases in point: (1) When one of my fellow Lions unexpectedly passed on, I went to his funeral. I was lucky enough to never have seen a dead body until then (I was in my 40s), and even then, I didn't expect to see one. I had been told it would be a closed casket. When I got to the funeral home, I quickly glanced into the room where the casket was on display and saw it was wide open (and under spotlights) - my stomach sank. The short of it was that when it came time, I walked in with my fellow Lions, walked past the casket, looked at my friend, said a small prayer, paid my respects to the family, chatted for a few minutes, and left. I had faced my fear and did what I felt I should do as an adult (and survived). Since then, the scene has repeated itself too many times, but I did (and still do) the adult thing.

(2) Just a few days ago, another situation presented itself. I had left Wal-Mart and while putting "stuff" into my car, looked over at the car parked next to mine. There was a man slumped in the driver's seat; in his hand was a foil-wrapped sandwich. He looked asleep, but.... I stared for a moment and saw his stomach rise a bit, so I knew he was breathing. I knew him, so I called his name through the open passenger window but got no response; he must be sleeping (maybe). I took my cart back down to where they go back into the building, got into my car, and started it. In seconds, I turned it back off, got out, and went around to his driver's window, spoke his name again, and again got no response. I poked his shoulder and said his name again. His head came up and he looked at me. I apologized for waking him and said, "I couldn't just leave...just in case.... I had to know you're okay." I felt bad for waking him, but I would have felt worse if something had been wrong and I didn't say or do something.

After I left, I felt fine. I had done the adult thing (the right thing). I wondered how many others would have. I want to think everyone, but....

(Check out the Kitty Genovese story from 1964, in which some 38 people allegedly heard her being stabbed and didn't do anything.Called the bystander effect, it is a social psychological phenomenon in which individuals are less likely to offer help in an emergency situation when other people are present. The probability of help is inversely proportional to the number of bystanders. In other words, the greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is that any one of them will help. [Wikipedia])