A brief life lesson from my good friend.
Some years ago, a former student called me. She was sobbing and said she didn't know what to do. I asked what the problem was. She choked back tears and said she was out of work and had run out of money; she had her kids to feed and had nowhere to turn, and she thought of me.
The last time I had seen her was when she needed to be bailed from an arrest. I don't remember what the charge was, but I was there for her (and didn't even collect my fee because I had her in school and liked her).
This time, she sounded so lost and desperate... and her kids.... I advanced her $100 (I was working then and thought it was the right thing to do).
Longer story short, it turned out she used the money for drugs. I tried numerous times to have her do the right thing and pay me back, but it was clear it wasn't going to happen.
I was angry and told my bestie about it (I actually have two). He set me straight. He said I had to decide on an amount of money I could let go - money that wouldn't make me if I had it or break me if I lost it. It was a life lesson, and I should move on. As I thought about it, he was right, and $100 was a good place to settle on.
Along the way, I have helped numerous people since with no expectation of return. I have not been disappointed.
Good advice.
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